Most people are gearing up to spend tomorrow with friends and family … celebrating Easter with the traditional ham or leg of lamb, searching for eggs, tearing into colorful Easter baskets …
Not us.
We will attend the sunrise service at church, of course. There is a brunch and then a regular service. We’ll be there. And then everyone will skitter off …
We’ll go home. Just us. No extended family. No friends. No celebration.
At least not the kind that comes to mind – my mind. In my mind, we just aren’t like other people. Other families. Normal families.
I know, we CAN make our own traditions and we will. But at these times, when it seems that everyone has somewhere to go and people to be with … I feel at a loss. I wish for involved grandparents for my children. I wish for aunts and uncles that want to be around – or that we are willing to let come around. I wish for big gatherings, for chaos and laughter and a little tension and the combining and bonding of families. I wish for ladies cooking together in the kitchen and the men hanging out in the den. Children running wild, trying to steal a bite of this or that.
We just don’t have that. At all.
Today I am shedding my sadness here.
Today I will mourn for the traditional family that we don’t have – but only here.
Tomorrow I will be joyous.
Tomorrow I will dress my girls in sweet pastel dresses with lovely Easter bonnets (the 2 that will let me!).
Tomorrow I will make cute baskets for my girls (even though 2 of 4 don’t believe in it and think it lame – or whatever the current word is)
Tomorrow I will still cook a ham (even though I don’t care for it) and.
Tomorrow I will try to explain the real meaning of the day … I will tell my children that we are all we need and I will mean it … tomorrow.
Frannie
Rise heart; thy Lord is risen. Sing his praise, Without delays…-George Herbert, stanza from "Easter"
Good Friday is the mirror held up by Jesus...it turns us to that cross and to his eyes and we hear these words, "Father forgive them for they know not what they do." -Robert G. Trache
Lead Me to Peace
Lead me from death to life,
from falsehood to truth.
Lead me from despair to hope,
from fear to trust.
Lead me from hate to love,
from war to peace.
Let peace fill my heart,
my world, my universe.
Amen.
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6 comments:
I have to be honest ~ I'm a lurker. Not anymore! :) When I read this last post, I just felt that I had to post. I feel really sad for you. Family is such an AWESOME thing, and I really wish that you could have that on a day like tomorrow! A Celebration!!! I will pray for you tomorrow! Like you said ~ make your own traditions! Have fun with YOUR own family!
Frannie,
I am much like you. My family is not that closeknit. Not that we don't love one another, it is just that we do not spend time together. Even at Christmas, when I was home for 10 days, we didn't all get together all at once. Everyone always seems to have something more important to do. Tomorrow, it will only be me and Tuc. My older three are with their father. I did not color eggs, there will be no baskets...my heart just isn't in it this year. NewMan tells me that next year, he will make sure that our lives are full of joy and celebration. Right now, I am just sad. Know that you will be in my thoughts tomorrow.
Since I was up at 7, my husband is already off running errands so we can hit the road in a couple of hours and the rest of the people in my house (my two kids, my friend and her daughter) are still asleep, I decided to check out some new blogs and found yours.
That whole traditional thing just doesn't seem to work in today's world for almost everyone I know. So we cobble together families and traditions as best we can with what we've got. I hope you will visit my Easter blog and see my family...which is mostly neighbors and friends that I have made living in NC and now Boca Raton.
I agree with the previous comment..family is great...even if the family members aren't actually related to you!
Hanging out at home with just my family is my idea of paradise! Of course I am an agoraphobe.
Hoppy Easter sweetness!
Smooches Darling! I know that feeling also BUT you know what... while my little one looked for eggs today I realised, yes it would be nice but in the end, THIS moment, this second, is ALL I need to feel whole. She is such a blessing and that I get to share it with her and my "small" family, well that is a hell of a lot better then some right? That is what I try to hold on too, my family may be tini, and a bit disfunctional what there is of it BUT it is mine and I love them and they love me... warts and all! How blessed are we? Besides... I will come be an auntie... I love neices, so much fun AND you can be cool because you are NOT THEIR Mommy, PLUS... you can send their snotty butts home when they get to be too much! ROTFL I honestly think the families of the heart are much better then familys of birth anyways!
Hugs- T
I used to feel bad for me for the same reasons you wrote about but now I feel bad for those who are missing out on my children, it's totally their loss. I let myself weep a moment but then look around at my immediate family and know there are no others I would rather be with. Much love...
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