Thursday, June 05, 2008

fasting and cranky

I'm fasting today. again. and it sucks. again.

clear liquids; tea, water, Gatorade, Jell-o (can not be red, blue or purple), bullion, Popsicle's or fruit juice with no pulp - such as apple, white grape and lemonade ... first off, I hate apple juice - always have, I think it is too sweet for me. White grape, same story. And lemonade, why oh why would I drink lemonade on an empty acid filled stomach. Ouch.

I don't care for Popsicles either ... the sweet thing again. Ditto on the Gatorade.

So it will be water, tea and Jell-O. Maybe some chicken bullion later ... but I don't know if I can stomach it.

I am cranky.

Not just because of the fasting, though it doesn't help, but because I have a raging migraine and usually I can rely on a saltine diet to help me ease the quease ... but not today. And while I can still take my migraine meds, I must sleep when I take them and AngelBaby is in fighting form today, plus I have to drink 8 ounces of water every hour on the hour ... so there is no rest for the wicked.

And ... do you really need more? ... I have to fast until my test at 4pm tomorrow. Seriously don't these people work in the morning? Did I mention that I could only eat a minimal diet yesterday? Really great stuff like cream of wheat and eggs - with no salt or pepper, thank you very much.

Ok, Ok, I am sure you are thrilled to hear all of this great stuff. TMI anyone? I could go further into detail but I would blush and even though you can't see me, I always imagine you can ... I'll only add that, of course I started my (.) today - what could make things more pleasant.

Wanna come visit me ... anyone ... anyone ...

Frannie

Our greatest victories are won on our knees and with empty stomachs. - Julio C. Ruibal

If we have been united with him like this in his death, we will certainly also be united with him in his resurrection. Romans 6:5

Sunday, June 01, 2008

this and that, cake from a box

Well, one test down, three or four to go.

What did they find? Hmmm ... this and that. Nothing really conclusive. This is a word I hear so ofter (or rather its counterpart - inconclusive) that I want to scream when they use it. There are things that could be issues, but they might not be.

The prep for my next test is excruciating. and given that I already have a migraine and feel like I am going to throw up, I am fairly certain that they are going to have to postpone tomorrows test and I will have to start the prep. all over.

But ... let's move on, ok?

Friday was a big fundraising event for a group that SweetiePie belongs to. I had signed up to organize the gig long before I knew I might still be coming down from the anaesthetics. And me being me, a procrastinator and the classic over-achiever Mom, I decided that I would just do it all anyway. So ... I cooked up some good 'ole southern grub for a hundred ... turned into one hundred and fifty when a group on non-RSVPing folks showed up - dang them anyway. Of course, I happen to cook for an army when I cook, so it wasn't really an issue (after I stopped hyperventilating) and everyone was h.a.p.p.y.

The best part was the cake walk/auction. I determined that the kids needed to contribute in some way or another ... and we decided that they would all make the cakes for the auction. Too Darned Funny. and scary - some of these cakes were.not.pretty and I would not have paid money to even put one in my car, much less eat them.. And then there are those cakes that I KNOW the parents have made (which they are not supposed to -- what is the point of the kids participating if we do it for them), and then the one you KNOW came directly from the Safeway ... ooppss, there I go digressing again ... well, the cake walk/auction is a pretty competitive thing for this group - they take fundraising and cake eating very seriously in these parts ... Now of course in our house since I am making all the food myself, SweetiePie gets to make her cake from ... uhum ... a box. With frosting in a can (or whatever you call those thingies that they come in now).

But she is a superstar and made the best cake from a box with frosting from a can that a preteen could possibly make. She was proud of herself, and rightly so ... she knew that she made it on her own (ok, whatever ... from a box and a can - but hey she had to mix it right for it to look good -- and frosting a cake is a talent) ... Bidding was tough and Mr. Farmer was prepared to buy the cake at any cost ... $20, $30, $40 we were bringing that cake home. (is that as crazy as it sounds?) BUT - SweetiePie told Mr. Farmer not to buy it. She wanted to see how much money it could get with out parental persuasion. {gasp} What if no one bid ... my heart was thumping ... this could be tragic to my girls baking future.

Well, I needn't have worried. These people are c.r.a.z.y., I mean out of their heads crazy! It started out slow - $5, $10, $15, $17, $22 ... and it kept going ... and going ... and going ... her darned cake from a box, with frosting from a can, sold for $126. Crazy, I tell ya. I felt like I had just been slipped an extra twenty by a cashier not payin' attention ... should I fess up? Tell these folks that I could make them ... ummm ... I don't twenty more cakes for that price?? I was feelin' pretty sheepish at the back of the room. So far most of the cakes had gone for $40-$50 ... seems like a reasonable investment into our children's future ... but come on $126 for a cake -- not even Cheesecake.

As I sat there wondering if I should make a run for it (what kind of example would I be?) or tell the nice folks there had obviously been a mistake (an run the risk of crushing SweetiePie's fragile pre-teen ego) ... something funny started to happen on the other side of the room ... another cake (which I am certain was also made from a box, with frosting from a can) was easing up in price as well - I'll be darned if it didn't go for more than SweetiePies lovely cake ... as did the next cake, and yep - the following cake as well. Some cakes went for over two hundred dollars - two hundred dollars people ... these are the same people that decline to sponsor a child, or directly contribute to a fund ... okay, whatever, who am I to judge, really.

SweetiePie was thrilled beyond words ... and so were we since we didn't have to pay $127 for the cake that we had already purchased for under $5.99 ... and we bought one of the cakes at the beginning and ended up shelling out $40 for someone else's cake from a box, with frosting from a can. But hey it's all about the kids - and they made over $2000 from the auction alone, not to mention the monies taken in for the food that yours truly provided ...

The best part ... when we left, SweetiePie leaned over to me and said MaaMaa, these people are nuts, why didn't they just write a check in the first place? She went on to say that she was glad that she did spend some time and energy to contribute to the cause but ... it was weird how all these folks got so excited about a little bit of cake ...

Now, if I could eat today, I would be tuckin' in to my cake from a box, with frosting from a can ... since I can't I'll leave you all with a few of my favorite Erma Bombeck quotes;

Before you try to keep up with the Joneses, be sure they're not trying to keep up with you.
I haven't trusted polls since I read that 62% of women had affairs during their lunch hour. I've never met a woman in my life who would give up lunch for sex.

In two decades I've lost a total of 789 pounds. I should be hanging from a charm bracelet.

When I stand before God at the end of my life, I would hope that I would not have a single bit of talent left, and could say, "I used everything you gave me".


Happy June,

Frannie


"Be careful not to do your 'acts of righteousness' before men, to be seen by them. If you do, you will have no reward from your Father in heaven."Matthew 6:1