Wednesday, January 31, 2007
Tuesday, January 30, 2007 10:32am
Well, I didn't get too far on that one yesterday ... I was going to moan and groan about not having a moment to myself to actually post something slightly witty ... but AngelBaby quickly put a stop to the millisecond of time that I was trying to steal away from her octopus arms ...
She can't breathe, that's the issue for the most part. She can't breathe, so she can't sleep. She doesn't sleep, so she is really tired. She is really tired, which makes her uber cranky. She is cranky, she gets clingy. Just the way it works. I literally held her all day yesterday. Poor baby.
She isn’t a lot better today, but she is half asleep (sitting up) watching the Care Bears movie, again! So, I am getting a much needed, very brief, moment ... yep, and here I am - blogging. It won't be much though, because I actually have some work to do ...
For the moment though, I will share some of the sweetness that is LittleMiss ...
LM: MaaMaa, you are the bestest MaaMaa ever ...
FF: What do you want baby? (Cause you know the girl wants something if she is doling out such high praise, right?)
LM: MaaMaa, I don't want nothin', I just love you.
FF: Well, that's sweet baby, I love you too.
LM: But MaaMaa, I love you so much more than that! You are a special MaaMaa. (Now, I don't know if she means special or sPecIaL as in CraZy ... but ...)
FF: Awww honey, that so sweet, come here and give MaaMaa some lovin'.
*** smooches ***
LM: Ummm MaaMaa, can I share some of my special M&M's with AngelBaby?
yea ... so much for simplicity ... gotta give her credit though, girl is smart.
And yes, I let them share some of the special M&M's.
Those who bring sunshine to the lives of others cannot keep it from themselves. -George Linnaeus Banks
Never tell people how to do things. Tell them what to do and they will surprise you with their ingenuity. -- Gen. George S. Patton Jr.
He did this so that all the peoples of the earth might know that the hand of the LORD is powerful and so that you might always fear the LORD your God. Joshua 4:24
Monday, January 29, 2007
Sunday, January 28, 2007
Why? I don't know .. but I could not find a bypass to just stick with what I had.
I hope that it doesn't cause any grief for anyone.
More to come today ... AngelBaby is sick, sick, sick. She has a fever, I can tell ... but it seems that all 6 of my thermometers are broken or lost! Grrr.
Measure not God's love and favor by your own feelings. The sun shines as clearly in the darkest day as it does in the brightest.-Richard Sibbes
Saturday, January 27, 2007
Friday, January 26, 2007
2) I haven’t eaten all of Dark Chocolate M&M'S, but I have eaten far too many of them for someone who doesn’t like them.
3) I finally finished Born in Death by J. D. Robb. It got better as it went on. The disappointing part is that its part of a series. Not that you have to read the series to get any of them, just that there is a series and I am a little odd that way … I never like it when a book ends and always want to know more about the characters … so if there are more books, well, I gotta read them.
4) So, on that note … I think I mentioned that the book was a gift, right? My question is, why would you buy someone a book from the middle or end of a series? Just wondering.
5) Current reads:
Tender Mercy For A Mother's Soul - By: Angela Thomas Guffey - the author encourages mothers to nourish their souls. The first part of the book is spent laying the basis of "Why" it is essential for mothers to care for themselves achievable suggestions of how to accomplish "remaining in the vine".
Olivia Joules and the Overactive Imagination - By: Helen Fielding - I just started this one .. I don’t think that it will be as witty as Bridget Jones's Diary, but it was cheap at the big Book Discount Store – and the cover was cute .
6) Be sure to stop by Jeana's and wish her a happy 1st blogavesary! She is terrifically witty and always gracious, so if you haven’t stopped by before – today is the day!
7) I think I have had twice as much soda from a can since Kari warned us about Getting Out Of The Can! Funny how that works ... tell me that its bad and I want it all the more ...
8) I got my Netflix movies yesterday. I am not sure what I was taking when I ordered Broken Flowers. To say that it is odd … well that would be an understatement. It was strange, almost unwatchable. I didn’t turn it off, because just like books, I have a weird fixation about finishing a movie that I start … but I should have. NOT.GOOD.AT.ALL! If you saw Lost in Translation, well it is different than that, but leaves you with the same, almost repulsed, feelings ...
9) The other movie is The Weather Man, which I did start and immediately turn off when I heard the F-bomb six or seven times in the first 4 minutes. So, I may or may not watch that when the brood is sleepin’.
10) I really don’t want to keep talking about the weight I have lost - but I have a question – what do you say when people say ‘wow Frannie, you sure have lost a lot of weight' … I mean, I generally just say thank you ... but sometimes it feels like they want more ... occasionally they will ask how I did it, and again I am stumped - because I don't think it has been any one thing, but rather a combination of A LOT of things ... anywho ... maybe y'all can help out here!
11) I don’t have to cook a lot this weekend. I did last weekend, and it was overwhelming. In all I cooked for almost 50 people. Whew, I need a weekend off.
12) I jinxed myself when I mentioned AngelBaby’s success at potty training. In the last two weeks she has completely lost interest. I should have gotten stock in HUGGIES, I knew I should and I hedged … dumb move on my part.
13) LittleMiss on the other hand, has had amazing development over the last few weeks; coloring in the lines, writing her name (over and over and over), drawing pictures that actually look like people (rather than stick figures) and doing Pre-k Workbook, after workbook. Another thing I should have gotten stock in. ah well… It is just so cool watching them grow and learn and challenge themselves. So cool!
14) I realize that I haven’t done the Frannie's Fixin's & Cookin' Tips in quite some time … that is something I really enjoy … do you? If so, let me know and I will make more of an effort, if not – I won’t bother. When I started doing it, I thought it might distinguish me from other bloggers, but I am most curious to know what y’all think … do tell.
Happy Friday Y'all! Enjoy your weekend!
Most people are more comfortable with old problems than with new solutions. -Charles Brower
If it frustrates you that they don't allow laptops on a Ferris wheel, you may be a workaholic.-Dr. Donald E. Wetmore
After they prayed, the place where they were meeting was shaken. And they were all filled with the Holy Spirit and spoke the word of God boldly. Acts 4:31
Thursday, January 25, 2007
Why would you?
Well, of course you know I have been gettin' all deep lately. Thinkin' about what I wanna be when I grow up, thinkin' about what I want to be remembered for ... and really sorta stressin' about what people might say about me if I up and kicked the bucket tomorrow.
Too deep for this blog? Maybe.
Yea, so part of the homework ... is for me to write my Epitaph ... where does one start? How will people remember me? How do I want them to remember me?
How do you write this without sounding vain? How can I possibly be truthful here ... my brain can't wrap around the process. I am trying to break it down; what do I stand for, what am I passionate about, what do people think I stand for or am passionate about?
It's strange ... I am pretty private, I am not sure that I let people see that far inside me. I go, I do, I don't really want acknowledgement ... I try to stay incognito.
What about you?
What would people say? What do you hope they will say ...
ep·i·taph /ˈɛpɪˌtæf, -ˌtɑf/ [ep-i-taf, -tahf] – noun
1. a commemorative inscription on a tomb or mortuary monument about the person buried at that site.
2. a brief poem or other writing in praise of a deceased person. –verb (used with object)
3. to commemorate in or with an epitaph.
No possession is gratifying without a companion. -Seneca
Hope begins in the dark, the stubborn hope that if you just show up and try to do the right thing, the dawn will come. You wait and watch and work: You don't give up. -Anne Lamott
For it is commendable if a man bears up under the pain of unjust suffering because he is conscious of God. 1 Peter 2:19
Wednesday, January 24, 2007
For me, fasting is about control. Me controlling the food, rather than the other way around. I find that if I do it once in a while (really I did it a year ago and now ... so it isn't like I do it regularly) I walk away feeling refreshed and more focused ... not on the food, but on what I need to do to take care of myself ... also it helps me to see what I am capable of ...
Because, as all you mom's out there know, it is easy to forget what we are capable of. When life consists of changing diapers, wiping noses, making 27 pb&j sandwiches a day, knowing more words to Doodlebops songs than Coldplay's ... trying to get dinner done after just washing up the lunch dishes .. and let's not even talk about ...
Tuesday, January 23, 2007
It started with the need for clarity on many fronts. I thought if I cleared my mind, I might be able to see things more clearly. not so much - I just keep thinking about food; wanting it, trying not to lick the PB off my fingers when I made sandwiches for lunch or sneak a piece of cheese at dinner.
A friend, who whenever he is considering a life change, will pray and then fast until the answers become clear to him.. I can't help but wonder if he actually gets the answers or he just gets soo loopy that he 'hears' an answer ... pretty pessimistic of me huh? Sorry, but its 9pm and I am dying. I might be ok if I could go to bed now ... but I can't, so I have to stay strong a while longer.
Of course the second reason is that this will kick start the next level of weight loss thing ... sad. true. me!
Blessed are those who can give without remembering and take without forgetting. -Elizabeth Bibesco
For Christ's love compels us, because we are convinced that one died for all, and therefore all died. And he died for all, that those who live should no longer live for themselves but for him who died for them and was raised again. 2 Corinthians 5:14-15
Monday, January 22, 2007
You may recall that I said I felt drawn to single mothers, but not really knowing what that meant or what I should do about it.
Just a little background...
Anywho. So, the author of the second book asked a number of church goers the following question:
If money were no object, what would you do for the rest of your life?
Heavy duty question, huh? He was, of course, expecting answers like;
- I'd volunteer at the Crisis Pregnancy Center.
- I'd mentor inner city kids.
- I'd build an orphanage in a Third World country.
- I'd quit working, buy a nice car, a new house, a boat.
- I'd travel.
- I'd hire people to help around the house.
Does this make you sad? It does me. When I really think about it ... you know the whole God sent us His only Son, to forgive us for our sins and if we could do anything with our life we would choose ... a vacation?
The second question he raised was:
Do you think He put us on this earth just so we wouldn't have to work another day in our lives?
Or even worse, just so we'd stumble around for years without any clue as to why we were here?
I don't know about you ... but this makes me think. And how.
Now y'all know that I am a Christian, I make no secret about the fact that I am a follower of Christ ... however, I'm not lookin' to convert y'all, but my faith is part of me. It is something that I need to make it through each day - in fact, it is the only reason I have made it this far ...
I digress, as usual.
These questions have really made me think abut where I've been, what I have done and what I want to do with the rest of my life ... like when I grow up you know ... How I can give God the glory that He deserves? What are His intentions for my life, rather than my own thoughts and presumptions?
I have had many jobs, more than a few professions, and yet I have catered to very few of my passions. I have always done what was expected of me in a job ... even when I have wanted to take a more laid back, less managerial job ... but I have always gotten sucked right into a role, that likely, comes naturally to me - The Boss.
Now that I am a SAHM (though I often refer to myself as a Sham ... because that is how I feel most of the time) I am starting to lose a little of my bossness - although, certainly, none of my bossiness ... and I guess with that loss of bossness, I am also losing the desire to be a manager, boss or otherwise in charge of multiple people (children not withstanding of course).
I hear ya ... I hear ya .. Where are you going Frannie, get to the point girl!
Well, I am not sure there is one ... a point that is ... not for sure anyway.
I have been talking to a few people who have some plausible ideas about what I could do with my own experiences and my passions ... babies, kids, single mothers, cooking, nurturing.
I have been praying; asking God to reveal His will to me, to allow me to overcome my own will (so not good at that) and release my desire to control the situation ... now I know that when I let Him control the situation, things work out so much better ... however, generally I say something like 'Lord, please show me the way you want me to go with this ... allow me to clearly see what it is You desire of me ..." and then I immediately go into 'Plan Mode', trying to figure it all out for myself, by myself ...
So it's a courtesy prayer, right? Hey God .. just checkin' in with ya ... lettin' ya know that I am open to Your will, but ya know, if You want to ... well You could just go with my Plan ... ummm right! Pretty sure He's up there sayin' 'there goes that Frannie again, thinking she can take care of it on her own ... well, let's just shoot that idea down.
Well, not this time. I am asking the question, sittin' back and just waiting for His unmistakable answer. Gonna be tough. But I am certain, that I am on the right track this time.
Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you. For everyone who asks receives; he who seeks finds; and to him who knocks, the door will be opened. Matthew 7:7-8
As always, I will keep y'all up to date ....
Let your love be stronger than your hate or anger. -H.G. Wells
If you believe what you like in the gospel, and reject what you don’t like, it’s not the gospel you believe, but yourself. - Augustine of Hippo
When you are brought before synagogues, rulers and authorities, do not worry about how you will defend yourselves or what you will say, for the Holy Spirit will teach you at that time what you should say. Luke 12:11-12
Friday, January 19, 2007
Are you a dark chocolate lover? A true dark chocolate lover ...
I am. In fact, I don't really like any other type of chocolate. I will eat it, kind of like Pizza, but I don't like it, it doesn't satisfy me ... it doesn't give me that warm feel or fulfill a guilty pleasure ... it's just okay.
So, I was excited today when I saw the Dark Chocolate M&M'S, here, I thought was a little slice of heaven that I could easily divide into small portions and satisfy my infrequent cravings ... I was at one of the Mart stores and found a giant bag in the Valentines Day section. Score. Put them in the freezer and munch those babies when it is necessary.
Except that I brought them home and, of course, I had to try them ... and do you know what?
They weren't that good. In fact, I dare say, they are no better, or different really, than the Milk Chocolate M&M's. I am so disappointed.
Of course, this won't stop me from eating them when I am absolutely dying for chocolate on those rare two days a month ... but it would have been so much better if they actually tasted like dark chocolate.
You must be careful how you walk and where you go, for there are those following you who will set their feet where yours are set. - Robert E. Lee, Civil War General
I know that there is a God, the God within me that's always present and will protect me. I'm not afraid to climb any mountain, because I know that I'm protected. Even if I fall and die, I'm still protected. My faith is on that level. -Halle Berry
There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love. 1 John 4:18
Thursday, January 18, 2007
I am stuck with kid stuff.
More specifically ... hmmm. How do I get specific without getting too specific?
This is how it is when no one in your *real* life knows about your cyber life ...
Let me just throw it out there ...
SweetiePie is a tender hearted child. This is both a blessing and a curse.
A blessing because she has so much empathy for people, such concern for mistreatment of others ... a true to desire to see people happy. Such a blessing.
The curse? SweetiePie takes everything (and I mean E.V.E.R.Y.T.H.I.N.G) to heart. It weighs her down and causes her great sorrow. A mistreated soul or a harsh word said, and SweetiePie is beside herself, often finding it difficult to let go what can not be *fixed*.
Which makes parenting difficult, to say the least.
Discipline, no matter how minor, always leads to tears and hurt feelings.
Punishment, in any form, results in the conclusion of rejection.
Disappointment, open dialog, a voice raised … well anything other than shiny happy faces equates to tears, sadness, isolation … or at least in her own mind.
I find myself not knowing how to parent this amazingly wonderful, yet bewildering child.
Part of the issue is that she doesn't seem able to think things through. The relations between cause and effect just don't resonate with her. It goes beyond the normal pre-teen stuff ... we've talked to doctors, counselors, educators ... but it just isn't easily defined. It is difficult to get into here, in writing, without describing specific incidents, behaviors, patterns ...
Some days are ok. Some days we can manage to get through the day with out a major outburst or disaster ... other days, it seems a comedy of errors; one thing after another, one excuse after another, one tear after another - hers and mine.
I am not sure why I am putting this out there today; those of you who know me know that I try (hard) not to provide too many revealing details here ... there are reasons for that, good reasons.
But I guess I write this because today was one of those days ... something wrong, broken, forgotten, hurtful at every turn ... and I feel stuck. As a parent, I just feel stuck. I lose a part of myself each time I see her sad eyes ... because I feel like she is losing a part of herself. Because I loved a life where everyone told me I wasn't good enough, smart enough, pretty enough, coordinated enough ... enough - period, and I don't ever want her to think that is what I am saying to her when I am really just trying to talk about action and consequences.
I just want to do right by her ... but I don't know how.
It's never too late. You can't screw up so badly that God can’t find something worth building in the wreckage, that life can’t assert its return when it is time. -Barbara Crafton
I've learned that people will forget what you said, People will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel. -- Maya Angelou
In God, whose word I praise, in God I trust; I will not be afraid. What can mortal man do to me? Psalm 56:4
Tuesday, January 16, 2007
Monday, January 15, 2007
God of our forebears and our God,
If a man is called to be a streetsweeper,
he should sweep streets even as Michelangelo painted,
or Beethoven composed music,
or Shakespeare wrote poetry.
He should sweep streets so well that
all the hosts of heaven and earth will pause and say,
here lived a great streetsweeper
who did his job well.
-Martin Luther King, Jr
Friday, January 12, 2007
1) Have you seen THIS? Girl has issues. Real issues.
2) What about the :: Black Snake Moan :: trailer? I am not sure how I came across it, but whew it looks FrEakY!
3) Why do I have so many visitors (hits?) from Illinois? It isn't like they hang around, read or comment ... but there are a lot of them ... strange.
4) Two of my children told me I was pretty this morning ... I haven't showered yet, no makeup on ... I did brush my teeth. Hmmm wonder if they want something? Except one was AngelBaby and although she is well on her way to learning the fine art of manipulation, I don't think she is quite there yet.
5) My drawers are droopy. Maybe that is why the girls think MaaMaa is pretty ... I have finally lost enough weight that my underwear are just plain old too big - which makes me strangely happy. I weighed in at 169 this morning ... I have lost almost 65 lbs since I started one year ago this week. shhh don't tell say anything I am afraid it will STOP if I talk about it too much.
6) Although I haven't really made any resolutions ... I have been doing some soul searching with the help of this book this book, and this book and website, I fell like I am starting to identify my purpose ... my calling, if you will. I feel myself being drawn to single mothers, I am not sure what I will do with this information, but knowing (for me) means that I will have to take some sort of action. Stay tuned.
7) Along those lines ... I read this post a few weeks ago over at The Imperfect Christian's blog ... she is an amazing gal. I know I gave her a shout yesterday, but that particular post was moving to me.
8) I am still reading Born in Death by J. D. Robb. Like I said, I didn't enjoy it at first, but I am warming up to it.
9) How long after you have a baby do you STOP losing your hair? Anyone? I should be bald by the end of the year if this keeps up.
10) Speaking of baby ... AngelBaby has gone potty on the Potty four (yes 4 as in F.O.U.R.) times today. Yippee. Of course, admittedly, she is runnin' around w/out a diaper in the middle of a snow day ... but the heat is on, I promise.
11) When someone who isn't usually nice to you, is suddenly being nice to you, do you wonder what they are up to or do you give them the benefit of the doubt?
12) Someone gave one of the girls a Winx Doll for Christmas and I can only say that these things look evil. Creepy really. I think ours will take a vacation soon.
13) I mentioned a while back that I was having 'mouse' issues ... no, not the live sort, but rather the computer sort ... so I went out and bought myself this cute little wireless doohickey ... and when it works, it works well, but I'll be darned if the thing doesn't go through more batteries than a baby goes through diapers ... other than that, it's a good thing.
14) Here are just a few reasons folks have stopped by Frannie's this week (and my recommendations):
- stardoll your papperdoll haven - you want: Stardoll - Your paperdoll heaven
- ina garten nude photos - a lovely lady ... but naked? hmmm. She is the Barefoot Contessa
- can you vacuum up scrambled eggs - yes, but use the hose, its messy!
- anxiety attacks can't breathe and cry - try www.anxieties.com, it could help.
- freeze uncooked scrambled eggs - you can do it, but they won't taste the same or have the same consistency.
- Hurricane Unscramble - I have no idea.
- scrambled eggs if dont have milk - you don't have to use milk, you can add a little water, olive oil, butter or if you want dairy you can add sour cream or even Crème Fraîche.
- infertility blog scrambled eggs - well, I am not sure what to make of this ... I hope they found their answer.
- tara reid-botched countdown - go here
- unscramble computer words - don't know, but it sounds like it would be fun at an Microsoft party.
- vanessa williams childrens - her children are: Melanie Lynne Hervey, Jillian Kristin Hervey, Devin Hervey and Sasha Gabriella Fox.
- Harbor lights of home by edgar guest - a good read, check out your local library or eBay.
There you are ...
Happy weekend all,
Prayer does not change God, but it changes him who prays. -Kierkegaard
You are to help your brothers until the LORD gives them rest, as he has done for you, and until they too have taken possession of the land that the LORD your God is giving them. After that, you may go back and occupy your own land, which Moses the servant of the LORD gave you east of the Jordan toward the sunrise. Joshua 1:14-15
Thursday, January 11, 2007
It feels like I am never alone. I know that if I was alone, I would want someone to be here ... anyway, never being alone means that blogging is nearly impossible.
Posting, reading ... it just doesn't work with the brood surrounding me.
Well, that and no one actually knows that I blog, so I prefer not to have to seem like I am up to no good - you know minimizing the second that someone comes around ... somehow that makes me feel a little like a perv or something.
Anywho ... so right, we are snowed in and even this kids aren't too happy this time. At this rate they may never get an actual summer vacation .. no one likes that!
Today, I have been trying to catch up on all of my favorite blogs. Dang, y'all write a lot. How do you have so much time?
I also thought it would be nice to read and comment on the comments that y'all have left here. You guys rock - seriously! It seems like I have been ill almost since I started writing this blog. One thing after another, and truth be told, I haven't even told you everything ... like I said on my earlier post You Wouldn't Believe Me If I Told You ...
So, I have been reading everyone's blogs, trying to comment when blogger would let me ... and mentioning all too often how much I dislike blogger right now.
Blogs that were especially funny or interesting today (in no particular order):
After the Ball - Kim is thinking about leaving .. stop by and tell her NO! She is really great!
And Then She Said - Had a lovely tribute to her baby girl Greta.
BooMama - Well, because she always has something good to say .. and she is always helping others.
Buffy Holt - She answers the Oprah question, and breaks my heart.
TTQ - Check out her new bathroom. It rocks, even if it isn't done yet.
Prunella - My friend Pru is soo darned funny .. I am just hangin' on to her coat tails, cause she is gonna be somethin' someday!
Coffee House Chatter - Trish lost her job and I'll be darned if she didn't turn it into a good thing!
CMHL - It's her Birthday .. stop in and give her some love.
Days to Come - Thirteen Words or Phrases Jeana says she can't carry off .. but I doubt that
Nello - She's feelin' better and I am glad.
Don't try this at home - Chili and Shannon are working on Blogging Basics 101 and it looks pretty cool!
Drew's Muse - well Drew is having weather issues too ... so I can feel for the guy ...
Equipped to Facinate - Scott got some new shoes .. not a good thing.
S* - Is Exposed ...
Focused Insanity - Iris is changin' her name and it suits her.
Heather Anne - if you haven't read her before .. just check it out. She is quite talented.
Heather's Thoughts - Reliving Christmas 2000. Sweet.
HolyMama! - Amusing herself and everyone else.
Messy Mom - Talkin' about laundry .. what else?
In the Midst of It - Sarah talks about Big Boy Beds ...
Lost in Waste - Mack .. talking out loud. Listen.
Manic Mom - shhh. she has an Agent. but don't jinx it.
Ms. E - tough stuff goin' on. but it's all good in the end.
Naive Helga - Reviews Children of Men. Sorta.
Pink Donuts - Ffleur - has a test for you.
Ramblin' Rose - re-enters the land of blogging.
Save Leigh Ann - is reconsidering selling her Coach bag. Let her know what you think.
Kari - is in the mood to share - And she is lookin' good!
Swishy - said she would blog today .. but she didn't . I forgive her thou, because her Rachael Ray post is fantabulous!
The Imperfect Christian - Got tagged .. and I haven't seen this tag before.
Bre - lost a dear Aunt .. and could use some cheering up.
T Girls World has been a bit shaken - but it isn't anything my girl T can't handle!
If you made it through all of that - Frannie is proud of you ... and you can see why it took me some time to catch up .. and honestly, that isn't everyone ... so if I missed ya .. sorry!
I also have a MeMe to do .. but it's gonna have to wait. I have used up my allotted time and must feed the brood ... we're having Baked Potatoes.
There’s no secret to balance. You just have to feel the waves. -Frank Herbert
For in Christ Jesus neither circumcision nor uncircumcision has any value. The only thing that counts is faith expressing itself through love. Galatians 5:6
Let me meet who
Tell me what
Keep me out of Your way.
- Father Mychal F. Judge, OFM
Former chaplain to the
Tuesday, January 09, 2007
Because that, my friends, is how my life works.
If I spilled it ALL out, you would laugh and say 'oh that Frannie, she sure is one to exaggerate' ... Except that I wouldn't be exaggerating.
Some days I think I might be normal .. that other mom's out there go through as much chaos as I do. But when I attempt to tell anyone the daily activities of the Farmer house ... well, they just look at me with skeptical eyes ... Followed by laughter or tears ... and then generally pity.
Ugh, I hate the pity. Seriously, I do. I don't need it.
Like Rosie said 'I love when people say you're fat like you don't know...' The same goes when people say 'wow, your house/children/hair/life sure is (are) messy...' I sort of want to say **DUH!** Do people think that I am unaware of how crazy we seem? How disorganized I am?
Now granted, people don't generally say it so out right ... 'Damn, Frannie, y'all live like pigs ...' (anyone else see and memorize the entire script of Urban Cowboy?) ... Nah, they're a lot more diplomatic than that ... they say things like '...Wow, girl, I don't know how you ... uh ... manage with all of those
And then of course, they'll offer up some help ... 'Anytime, darlin', you need a hand, you just give us a call ... ' - Yeah, right, I'll be damned if not one of them answers the phone when I call. They must not have that
Well, of course, you know I jest.
Even though things don't play out exactly that way ... it seems like it. I believe what Hillary said about it Taking A Village ... I could use a village right now. And I suppose if I was completely honest with those around me, they would help. But I don't know how to do that without feeling weak, like a failure or somehow incapable of doing it ...
Ah .. heck, this isn't the post I wanted to do today. Truly, I had better things in mind ...
Maybe tomorrow ... I seem to be getting good at the Scarlett thing.
I have no problem growing older. With age I have more power, more control, and less anxiety. -Vanessa Williams, singer & actress (I wanna live in her world!)
The beginning is the most important part of any work.-Plato
Serve the LORD with fear and rejoice with trembling. ... Blessed are all who take refuge in him. Psalm 2:11-12
Sunday, January 07, 2007
I didn't leave the house yesterday.
I scrounged around the house and found enough diapers to get through the day (and night) ... rationed the milk and told the brood they could have fruit and veggies today.
At some point yesterday afternoon my head hurt so bad that I couldn't see straight (truly) - so HeartBreaker and SweetiePie being on their best behaviour volunteered to watch the little ones while MaaMaa took a nap. Wasn't that sweet of them?
Well it was ...
So sweet that I didn't complain when I came down stairs to find the entire downstairs looking like the aftermath of hurricane Katrina ... seriously, two hours and they completely ransacked the place.
Clothes, food and toys everywhere.
But, it’s ok. I slept. For two sweet hours. And felt a little better last night – enough to make something that mostly resembled dinner …
Went to bed early, got up for church this morning and made it all the way until 1pm before the pounding in the head took over.
Tried to bribe everyone into an ‘after church nap’ … they weren’t havin’ it though. So, I tried to lay still for a while … they weren’t havin’ that either, so I had to get up when I heard LittleMiss say ‘ohhh MaaMaa is gonna be so mad that you cut that …’
That is so something a mother never wants to hear. Last time it was AngelBaby’s hair … This time it was the fringe off of one of my comfy fleece blanket.
3:30pm, 6 hours until bedtime. Lord help me.
Let us think of nothing but serving God: he will readily provide whatever else we need. -St. Ignatius of Loyola
It ain't bragging if you can do it.-Dizzy Dean
O Israel, put your hope in the LORD, for with the LORD is unfailing love and with him is full redemption. Psalm 130:7
Saturday, January 06, 2007
Yes it was a highly nutritious day for Frannie. And the brood. Cause you know, if MaaMaa isn't eating well .. neither is the rest of the family.
Today should be slightly better. I hope.
It was the on-set of what ended up being an awful migraine. I am still pretty shaky, but life must go on. I have some things that must be done today.
We have no fruit or veggies in the house, the milk is almost gone and I am pretty sure that the lone package of lunch meat in the fridge is not good. We do have PB & J though ... so, well, the kids would be ok with that ... except for the milk thing.
Oh, yes .. and AngelBaby needs diapers.
Darn, I don’t even know if I will be able to go out … just typing this and getting the brood breakfast has made me so tired. I hate migraines and what they can do to your system.
… more later
Friday, January 05, 2007
Ever have a day when you feel hungover, except you aren't hungover because you didn't partake in anything that could make you hungover? Huh didya?
That is how I feel today. The room seems to be spinning and my head is pounding and I just feel sick. ICK!
Before y'all start makin' me out as a potential Angelina or Halle .. no, the answer is N.O.! I am not pregnant, I know this because I am currently also suffering the effects of 'that time of the month' ...
Can I be feeling like this because of that? Does it change that much, as you get older?
** let me stop now and apologize now to the two men who actually stop by occasionally **
It's almost 1pm and I haven't showered yet. I am sure I would feel better if I did ... but I just can't muster it. Although I did just remove LittleMiss and AngelBaby from their playing in the kitchen sink (more water MaaMaa ...) and put them in the bath. Don't worry, I can hear them splashing, screaming and having a joyous time - from my spot near the computer.
It's raining and cloudy today. I suppose that could also have an effect on my mood. It's cold. Soggy. I hate that. It gives you that cold to the bone feeling .. the one that can't be cured even by a hot shower.
I am not spell checking or editing this, so I also apologize for any glaring errors.
We have watched 6 different Winnie the Pooh movies this morning.
Eaten an entire box of saltines.
Vaccuumed (I hate spelling that word) the floor (of said crackers) a minimum of 4 times.
Gone through 8 clean towels (to clean up the water from the sink) and 4 already dirty ones.
The girls have lasted 8 & 1/2 minutes in the bath and now they are yelling 'MaaMaa, MaaMaa, we need more ttoowweellss' ...
So, that's how Friday is gonna be.
I won't be witty. I certainly won't be pretty ... my hair may or may not get washed. Dinner may or may not consist of cheap pizza's and root beer (which I loathe) and a tribute to Nicole Richie (a vicodin at bedtime .. no driving - and I am just KIDDING.)
I am gettin' off this
I've learned that you can tell a lot about a person by the way he/she handles these three things: rainy day, lost luggage, and tangled Christmas tree lights. -- Maya Angelou
But you are a shield around me, O LORD; you bestow glory on me and lift up my head. Psalm 3:3
So, I go upstairs to get the
Now that is how Friday is gonna go. I have not showered, I have no bra, no makeup on, a giant z.i.t. on my chin and I am sure that someone important (or cute) is going to stop by any minute.
If you eat the entire box of Wheat Thins, is that more calories (or fat grams) than you are actually supposed to consume in a day?
Thursday, January 04, 2007
Come out moon
Come out wishing star
Come out, come out
Wherever you are
I'm out here in the dark
All alone and wide awake
Come and find me
I'm empty and I'm cold
And my heart's about to break
Come and find me
I need you to come here and find me
'Cos without you I'm totally lost
I've hung a wish on every star
It hasn't done much good so far
I can only dream of you
Wherever you are
I'll hear you laugh
I'll see you smile
I'll be with you
Just for a while
But when the morning comes
And the sun begins to rise
I will lose you
Because it's just a dream
When I open up my eyes
I will lose you
I used to believe in forever
But forever's too good to be true
I've hung a wish on every star
It hasn't done much good so far
I don't know what else to do
Except to try to dream of you
And wonder if you are dreaming too
Wherever you are
Wherever you are
Ok, it is a Winnie the Pooh song ... but it makes me cry every time I hear it.
Seriously folks, I know that I have celeb gossip issues ... but you must check this out. It is too darned funny to miss. I want to feel bad for her, but I just can't.
I was over at Buffy's blog and she asked this question: “How would YOU finish this sentence: If you really knew me, you would know….”
Of course I have to ponder that one. What would I reveal if I were to be completely truthful?
What would you say, if you were truly baring your soul? What would you attempt, if you knew you wouldn't fail? What would you write, if everyone would read it - or if no one would read it?
I guess these are the things that are floating around in my congested head.
I think they might be part of my 2007 resolutions, if I actually make any.
Could this be the year that I attempt new things, with out knowing the consequences ... with out any guarantees?
In the past, I have thought that I was doing this, but in all actuality, I had things pretty well figured out before I made the jump. I have thought that I was a risk-taker, but really they were all very calculated risks ... no harm, no foul type things.
But I can’t seem to calculate what should happen next. Last year I took some baby steps into areas that I wanted to encroach upon … but I didn’t press, I didn’t give much of myself – and I didn’t let anyone know … well, that isn’t right, I let people know, but not really anyone who could help me, or anyone that I thought would judge me …
So perhaps I just need to jump in.
On the funny side ... last year I wrote a list of things that I wanted to change. I saved it to a word doc with password protection and I'll be darned if I can remember the password. I have tried everything I can think of an NOTHIN! Hmmm, maybe it wasn't that important.
Ok, another thing for you ladies out there ... yes, on the celeb gossip sphere ... does it irritate anyone else that they keep saying that skinny
And the same goes for Halle Berry. Can't a gal wear a lose fitting sweater or have a crampy day without everyone screaming 'preggers'? Pahleeze ... Frannie would be called preggers almost daily!
And if they actually were pregnant ... shouldn't it be up to them to decide when they wanna talk about it? I know, I know ... they are in the spot light so blah, blah, blah ... but really, can't people just stop makin' up smack?
Ok, off of my soap box ...
I might be back for more later. Consider it a warning :O)
Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things that you didn't do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover. - Mark Twain, American writer
Joshua told the people, 'Consecrate yourselves, for tomorrow the LORD will do amazing things among you.' Joshua 3:5
Wednesday, January 03, 2007
My computer is SO slow again I am just about to forget blogging.
I have deleted my cookies, cleaned out my cache, ran the little PC cleaner upper doohickey and still everything seems to be taking F.O.R.E.V.E.R.!
I am not a computer whiz bang, so I just don’t know what more to do. The strange part is that it sounds like the modem keeps cycling or something … like it is trying to transmit some data, or run a CD, but there isn’t anything there … frustrating.
So, have you learned the art of being ‘politically correct’ in small talk? I don’t think I have. You know how it is when someone asks ‘how are you Frannie?’ … I always wonder if I should say ‘do you want the truth or the polite answer?’
I always say I’m fine, peachy, super … whatever; even when it isn’t so. Especially lately. I find myself wanting to say nothing rather than saying something untruthful.
Y’all know that I have been down for a while; some of it is easy to explain … other parts just go deeper that I can articulate. There are sides of me that no one is allowed to see. Not my family, my friends, nor my blogging buddies. I probably go deeper here than anywhere else, but still there is a lot of holding back.
I don’t want to dwell on it today … I have just been thinking about how to give the right answer, when things are not right.
Celebrity smack ...
Ok, have you seen the pictures of Brandon Davis? Seriously, he is disgusting. I can’t believe that someone as vile as he is, can even begin to say unkind words about other people.
Is Britney headin' to rehab? I hope so or at least a concentrated break. I love Brit-Brit, but the girl needs to get her priorities right. I’m not sayin’ she’s and alchy or anything but … the problem does seem to be consistent and I would hate to see her lose the boo-boo’s to K-Fed.
Am I the only one that doesn’t give a
I admit it, I thought that the pictures of Nicole and Joel kissing at Midnight looked sorta sweet. Although I am sure that Hilary Duff is livid. That would blow to see the guy you spent 2 years with sucking face with someone else … whether it’s Nicole or not.
Same goes for Nick and Vanessa. They looked sweet. And I don’t care if Jessica is k-i-s-s-i-n-g John Mayer … you know she is missing Nick! He is wayyyy hotter.
I was sortof stunned by the video of Saddam Hussein being executed. I guess I was also shocked that he was executed so swiftly.
I know that he is/was a terrible person, that his wrongs far surmounted the wrongs of sooo many people currently on death row. But I can’t help but wonder why he can be so quickly eliminated when there are so many guilty murderers/kidnappers/rapists/abusers that will make appeal up appeal … spending millions of tax payers dollars, earning educations that most middle class children won't be afforded. Living with medical benefits that I, along with a million others, can not personally obtain …
Just wondering how that happens ...
Here are the best ever bath lotions, scrubs and oils. Check 'em out! They are wonderful.
I just finished reading Vanishing Acts by Jodi Picoult.
An excellent book and I don't want to give it away; I will just say that it really made me think about my lack of personal history. Even when you think you know your heritage, how can you be truly sure?
I just started reading Born in Death by J. D. Robb - or Nora Roberts as she is better known. I don't like it so far ... about 30 pages in. I haven't read any of the other 'In Death" books that she has done and it seems like it might be a series ... it just isn't working for me thus far. But I won't quit because I always have to finish a book - regardless of how bad it is.
Plus, it was a Christmas gift ...
The strange thing, to me, is that Nora writes under the pseudonym of J.D. Robb (which I get - Mysteries vs. Romance) but in some cases Nora has written books with J.D. - can anyone tell me how that works? How does one write a book with ones fictional self?
The anxiety/panic attacks are happening on a daily basis now. It is starting to freak me out.
In true male form, when I told Mr. Farmer that, he said ‘why are you so anxious?’ … Yep, he is a man – through and through. Glad we don’t have boys to pass that on to!
Complete randomness ... someone from Wood Dale, Illinois got to my blog through this Yahoo Search: how to cook crack cocaine 7up baking soda. Yea, sorry I couldn't help ya on that one ... how creepy is that? I don't think I have ever typed the word c.o.c.a.i.n.e. in my blog.
Been thinkin' about resolutions. I try not to make them, because I never keep them ...
But, I feel like I need to prioritize ... I need to focus on some things. Well something would be a good start. I was going to try to come up with a list ... but it is getting late and my computer is too slow to finish ... in the good words of Scarlett O'Hara - I can't think about that right now. If I do, I'll go crazy. I'll think about that tomorrow.
I am not where I need to be, but thank God I am not where I used to be - Joyce Meyers
Keep your lives free from the love of money and be content with what you have, because God has said, 'Never will I leave you; never will I forsake you.' Hebrews 13:5
Monday, January 01, 2007
Grant me the strength from day to day
To bear what burdens come my way.
Grant me throughout this bright New Year
More to endure and less to fear.
Help me live that I may be
From spite and petty malice free.
Let me not bitterly complain
When cherished hopes of mine prove vain,
Or spoil with deeds of hate and rage
Some fair tomorrow's spotless page.
Lord, as the days shall come and go
In courage let me stronger grow.
Lord, as the New Year dawns today
Help me to put my faults away.
Let me be big in little things;
Grant me the joy which friendship brings.
Keep me from selfishness and spite;
Let me be wise in what is right.
A happy New Year! Grant that I
May bring no tear to any eye.
When this New Year in time shall end
Let it be said I've played the friend,
Have lived and loved and labored here,
And made of it a happy year.
- Edgar A. Guest