Tuesday, April 17, 2007

When you want to say something.

And you jut can not put it into words.

In general, I might have a slight tendency to turn a blind eye to all things bad. Not that I condone them - HELL NO. But people doing *bad things* typically do not ask my opinion before they commit such actions. When I read the newspaper or listen to the radio I skim past the tragic events of the day -- and indeed it seems that there is a tragedy every single day.

I suppose I could be considered ignorant, not intelligent enough to pay attention and form an opinion. It could be assumed that I am callus - that I just don't care what is happening in our world. It could also be inferred that I relish in being a martyr.

After all it has been pointed out to me … on numerous occasions that I simply CARE TOO MUCH. That I easily take on the heartache of others. That I can wallow and worry about issues that have no impact on my life – or the lives of those I love.

Again I digress, as is another bad habit …

Each time that something as catastrophic happens as the Virginia Tec. Shooting, I am filled with a deep sadness that I can scarcely shake. I am teeming with fear for my own children, for my nieces and nephews, second cousins that are scattered across the nation. Those that I could not get to them quickly enough if such a disaster were to hit them …

These things live with me for days, weeks, months – years even. I still have nightmares about the Columbine School shootings, the Oklahoma City bombings and the Waco Massacre.

To be perfectly honest, I fret in the month of April. I doubt that I am the only one to notice the plethora of dreadful events that happen in the month of April.

I suppose the other reason that I dread April is that I have had a number of personal tragedies take place in April – deaths, breakups, crimes … it also happens to be my birthday month; which, for me, has not necessarily been a time of blessings.

What did I intend to say when I started this? Obviously there are words in my heart that wish to emerge – I just can’t seem to get it right on paper (sic). Mostly I am thinking that these types of things are why I prefer to read celebrity trash – so my heart doesn’t hurt so much, so my brain doesn’t think to much – as so I don’t feel quite as useless to help.


Behind every exquisite thing that existed, there was something tragic. - Oscar Wilde

Take the first step in faith. You don't have to see the whole staircase, just take the first step. - Martin Luther King Jr.

Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again: Rejoice! Let your gentleness be evident to all. The Lord is near. Philippians 4:4-5


Slackermommy said...

Interesting that you see the April connection. I had never thought about that until I read this post. April is such a strange month for tragedies. Seems like it should be in dreadful January and not April which is about growth and new life.

Prunella Jones said...

I know what you mean. I cannot stand to read or watch anything about the war in Iraq because I am filled with disgust and sorrow that our young soldiers are being sacrificed so rich old men can grind axes and get richer.