And by you ... I mean the people who lurked around daily and never commented ... my blogger friends, I think, will remain my friends despite my recent disappearing act. But those who lurk, well, I just doubt that they are as invested.
I don't blame them really ... I haven’t been as ardent a blogger as I had hoped to be. I had a plan of sorts … a method to my own madness really – but then life kept happening and I wasn’t able to post as much as I wanted, not that I haven’t thought about it … that is the other issue; I have found blogging (reading, posting, commenting) to be an obsessive hobby. One that I can hardly stop thinking about; why couldn’t I have taken up jogging instead?
Anywho … I am not nearly back yet. Mr. Farmer’s new venture has, indeed, caused much more work for me … but so far it has been a fabulous thing for him – so I will continue to support him to the best of my ability! (I would either way, but it is much easier when the venture is a success!)
And I have been cookin’ more than I thought I would! Business is not too shabby for a hick like me :O) It will still take us about a year, I think, to catch up from gettin’ behind … but we are on our way.
Another reason for my continued sabbatical is more personal.
In the past two weeks I have discovered that one dear friend is being cheated on by their spouse, at the same time I have learned that another is doin’ some cheatin’ … it is really breaking my heart. And it is a hard spot to be stuck in. Not knowing what to say or do … do you let them know you know (either party?) … do I tell them what I really think? Part of me says ‘it’s none of your business Frannie, keep out of it’ while the other part of me screams ‘if I don’t say something isn’t that like condoning the behavior?’
It isn’t the first time I have been in this spot – I was here many times in high school and my early 20’s … and I did learn that the messenger was usually shot. But it is different now for two reasons – 1) I am a Christian and these are folks who claim the faith and have (in the past) appreciated my Christian outlook and honesty and 2) there are children involved.
I keep going back to ‘would I want to know … really?’
I think I would. But I really can’t say for sure … I think in my mind if Mr. Farmer was going to have a ‘one off’ with someone, I wouldn’t want to know necessarily. But if it was an actual on going thing – of course I would want know, preferably before everyone else in my sleepy little town knew …
Urgh! I am hating this … the more I write about it the more I can feel the pit in the bottom of my stomach grow!
What do you think?
You don't have to be alone in your hurt! Comfort is yours. Joy is an option. And it's all been made possible by your Savior. -Joni Eareckson Tada
God's everywhere. God's in the effort, God's in the struggle, whether that's for civil rights or creative expression. God's always in the struggle with us. -Anne Lamott
I have not hidden Your righteousness within my heart; I have spoken of Your faithfulness and Your salvation; I have not concealed Your lovingkindness and Your truth from the great congregation. Psalm 40:10