Need a good cry?

Some times in the midst of my chaotic life, when I am feeling a bit whoa is me, I just need a good cry.

Do y’all ever feel like that?

If so, I have the ticket for you – read this book!

It worked for me. I was up until nearly 2am last night – this morning – finishing it. I could hardly put it down the last few days … but since I only get to read real books at night, I wasn’t able to read as much as I wanted. But last night, I just couldn’t stop.

Kristin Hannah has written other novels; Comfort & Joy, Angel Falls, Between Sisters, On Mystic Lake …Magic Hour is the first one I have had the pleasure of reading. It is haunting me this morning. (So much so that I had to break out of my Blogging sabbatical).

Here's Frannie's run down ...

Dr. Julia Cates, a well known extremely gifted child psychiatrist, who until recently had a flourishing practice, has just lost everything she thought was important to her. Technically she comes out unscathed, emotionally – she is ruined. Like so many of us, she just wants to run away and hide from the world.

Ellie, Julia’s promqueenalwaysperfectlovedbyeveryone sister, is the police chief back in their sleepy little home town. The two are as different as day and night and neither knows how to relate to the other – every word is a potential offence. Of course they haven't spoken in years ...

When a little girl almost magically materializes from the woods, the two are bound together to save this “wild child”. Alice, as they name her, acts like an animal, incapable or unwilling to speak (at least in our language).

Along with Julia and Ellie, Max (the always present – in Novelworld – handsome mysterious Dr.) and the rest of the town unite to buck the system and protect Alice. There are numerous twists and turns in the novel – and sadness that is not for the weak at heart.
Each character is damaged in one way or another, but each one in a way that will touch your heart. Although the characters mentioned are the main characters, there are many more that make the book what it is.

I loved it. You might too. I will absolutely be reading more of Kristin Hannah.

Because we should.

and because it comes by way of Buffy.

There is no cure for cancer. This is why we walk… -Carolynn Johnson

Carolynn Johnson had just turned 37 years old when she found out she was pregnant. Within a two week period, she was also diagnosed with breast cancer.A radical mastectomy was recommended. She agreed. To protect her unborn child and in spite of risks to herself she ignored the request by her physician to have an abortion and waited until her second trimester to begin therapy. It would take eight rounds of chemo before Carolynn was able to begin her new life as a mother…and a survivor. She has walked for seven years.

Here is what Buffy had to say:

My sister called me this morning and asked me to read her friend’s story. “She’s got a blog. Please look at it.” Now I’m asking you to do the same. If you don’t think you have the time, make it. Without a cure, over 10 million women will die from breast cancer in the next 25 years. If you don’t think it concerns you, you’re wrong: If you are a woman you’re at risk. If you have a wife, mother, daughter or sister. They’re at risk. It concerns us all.

This year Carolynn and her Crew will participate in the American Cancer Society’s RELAY FOR LIFE. A veteran of both the Avon Walk for Breast Cancer and the Susan G. Komen Race for the Cure, Carolynn has helped raise over $150,000 for breast cancer research. She walks again on June 30.

The RELAY FOR LIFE is an overnight event led by the American Cancer Society to help raise money for the fight against breast cancer. Please help by sponsoring Carolynn and her Crew.

Checks can be made payable to The American Cancer Society, and mailed to:
Carolynn Johnson
Carolynn’s Crew
PO Box 1551
North Tazewell, VA 24630

You can also paypal funds to carolynn@pinkribbonmiracle.com.

If personal cheques and paypal aren’t your thing you can also donate direct to the Susan G. Komen foundation or the Avon Walk for Breast Cancer.

Please spread the word by linking to or digging this link.

Blogging Sabbatical

I am taking a wee sabbatical. Probably a week.

I am sure I will lurk around and read in the wee hours ... but I probably won't have time to post or comment. There is just so much going on this weekend and next week ... I didn't want to leave y'all hangin' ...

Frannie


Always remember that the future comes one day at a time. Dean Acheson


Once you were alienated from God and were enemies in your minds because of your evil behavior. Colossians 1:21

From Dawn til Dusk.

So, I actually had to look that up. Is it Dusk to Dawn or Dawn to Dusk.
And then I started humming Delta Dawn what's that flower you have on ...
And then I couldn't remember which raspy voiced singer sang it ... Helen Reddy, Tanya Tucker, Bette Midler.
Of course then I needed to know why it was written ... (this is the way my brain works) ... I found the following in an article;
In 1972, Helen wrote a feminist anthem, "I Am Woman," which became a number one record and earned her a Grammy. Her next single, "Peaceful," was also a hit. And then came the high water mark of her career: an enigmatic number, "Delta Dawn."
"It's a song about women's liberation," explained co-composer Alex Harvey. "That was a big deal at the time, and I guess it still is.
"I like images a lot, and mystery, and I think the mystery of 'Delta Dawn' is what pulled it together. The song basically came out of a feeling that I had for my mother, but I'm not really sure. " http://www.superseventies.com/1973_7singles.html

But really, all I was trying to get at was how I have been so out of my mind busy from morning to night. Today, for example started at 6:30am and I am sitting here at 10:15pm trying to think of the funny things that happened through out the day.

Mostly, we were gone all day - which means my house is completely trashed. I can't help but wonder how that math works. If you are gone most of the day shouldn't the house be clean? It makes sense doesn't it?? Apparently not in the Farmer house.

Mr. Farmer is starting a new business venture. Read: more work for Mrs. Farmer. I am ok with it, it will eventually help us a great deal ... but like anything, the initial start is a wee bit painful.

At the same time, it appears that my homecookin' business (I use the term loosely) has become more popular. I hesitate to mention it because ... well you know ... I just might curse it. I am still tryin' to figure out pricing and what not ... but there is certain potential.

This is how AngelBaby is entertainin' herself so that MaaMaa can do this little post - she has a tall kitchen bag (it is clean) and is repeatedly pushing her feet through the bottom to make as many holes as she can ... did I mention that she was naked? She wanted a sink bath but SweetiePie is in the shower, the dishwasher is runnin' (how? you would think dishes would be minimal since we were gone all day!) and HeartBreaker took a shower before SweetiePie (of course she did 'cause she is the oldest and she is entitled ....) so there is very little hot water left -- whew all that just to explain why AngelBaby is runnin' naked.

So, Britney got out of Rehab today. Has it been a month? Wonder how long she can make it? Gonna say a prayer for her tonight ... I really hope that she is just snugglin' up with those babies and realizing how much she needs to be there for them.

Angelina, Angelina, Angelina ... he is such a sweet boy, so brave ... blah, blah, blah ... oh Brad - yea he had to work and the blob was with her Father on the set every day ... Harsh often? Again, I am hoping that they didn't print the entire statement ... that somewhere she says something that makes it seem ... what? I don't know ... just not so harsh.

Sadly Calvert DeForest (Larry "Bud" Melman) from David Letterman's show passed away today. He was so funny on the show. Back when I could stay up that late and I wasn't concerned about cable corrupting my children's brains ... well, I really liked to watch the skits that he and Letterman did together ...

Ok, now I am gettin' all loopy and I need to get some slumber ...

Hope all is well with y'all!

Frannie


A mother is a person who seeing there are only four pieces of pie for five people, promptly announces she never did care for pie.~ Tenneva Jordan


To fear the LORD is to hate evil; I hate pride and arrogance, evil behavior and perverse speech.
Proverbs 8:13

Thought...
God is not only our protector; he is our helper. Even when our world seems to be crashing around us, he is there. He will deliver us from death or deliver us through death. He will deliver us from evil or he will deliver us to overcome evil. Our task is to trust that in the midst of our earthquakes and tidal waves that we are not alone and not abandoned.

Busy. Busy. Busy. Busy. Busy.

I have been so freakin' busy that I just realized I didn't read PostSecret yesterday - trust me ... that means I am Busy!

Frannie's Saturday Sixteen Mixup

So its Saturday and I missed the Friday Fourteen because I was ranting about friendship and Gluttony.

So now I will do my penance and give you 16 random things that are occupying my head - watch out ...

1) Heartburn - I woke up with it and I want it to go away right.this.minute.

2) After all my talk about the Binge and Purge of life ... I some major Binge shopping at Old Navy - bad Frannie, very very very bad Frannie!

3) Is it wrong that I want to use THIS as a handbag?

4) I totally love THIS Tee. Am I too old for it?

5) LittleMiss and AngelBaby are watching The Parent Trap with Lindsay Lohan - who would have thought that she would turn out to be such a lush when she made this cute movie.

6) I have had Vanity Fair and another movie that I can't remember (I never even opened it) from Netflix for almost a month ... I should probably send them back - like TTQ suggests, but I really want to see Vanity Fair - because I love Reese Witherspoon.

7) Speaking of Reese - I am not really sure what to make of the rumors about her and Jake Gyllenhaal. They are both cute and successful, but I just can't picture it.

8) Although I do think that Kate & Owen and Drew & Spike look exceptionally cute together ...

9) LittleMiss is learning how to write ... she knows her letters but doesn't really know words yet. So she keeps writing all of these letters - on paper, dry erase boards, coloring books, whatever she can get her hands on - and then asking What does this SAY MaaMaa? What do you say when it say gehsalopwreomovdwsaq? I tried making up an answer but she is just too smart for that - no it doesn't MaaMaa ... what does it really say? gggrrr.

10) It's 12:30 and I haven't taken a shower yet, if I didn't have to go places this evening - I don't think I would. I feel a little hazy.

11) The Easter Bunny - do you do it? If so, do you do it for your teens and what do you put in the basket?

12) I am trying to figure out how I feel about the Angelina Jolie adoption thing. Why haven't they addressed the fact that Brad doesn't seem at all involved? In my mind I am sure it will be just like Zahara ... where they will change his name when they are back in the States, but you would think that he (Brad) would have something to say about it. I'm just sayin' ...

13) I have to cook another large meal tonight ... for a family reunion type gathering (not mine - I am preparing food for their party for $$$) - I am making an Italian dish that generally calls for mushrooms, but I can't decide if I should use them - because my family likes them I didn't realize until recently how much so people (a lot of people) don't actually care for them ... I might just make half and half ...

14) Is it possible to be hungry and full at the same time? That's how I feel right now.

15) If you get a chance ... wander over to Manic Mom's blog. She is feeling a wee bit down and could use some encouragement.

16) It's Saturday ... it's raining, I am still in my PJ's, Mr. Farmer made coffee before he went out to the field (nice of him huh? - but I don't think it is helping the heart burn), I did get to sleep in until 8am and I don't have to be anywhere for 4 more hours ... things could be worse :O)

Hope your weekend is terrific ....and a festive St. Patricks Day!

Frannie

In every marriage more than a week old, there are grounds for divorce. The trick is to find, and continue to find, grounds for marriage. Robert Anderson

Faith is taking the first step even when you don't see the whole staircase. Martin Luther King, Jr.

And they sang a new song: "You are worthy to take the scroll and to open its seals, because you were slain, and with your blood you purchased men for God from every tribe and language and people and nation. Revelation 5:9

Binge and Purge.

Not a pretty title ...
and really if one is discussing Binge and Purge in the true sense of the word(s) - not a pretty topic.

But I am not heading down that particular path today ... nope. I am talking about Binge and Purge in other areas.

Like clothes. Or shoes.

An area that many women know all too much about ... (Leigh Ann - self professed bulimic shopper). I have been know to buy several of the same shirts - in different colors, of course - on a whim ... only to never actually remove the tags and wear said shirts.

Shoes ... don't even get me started ...

As I mentioned last week - I have been giving things aways in a frenzy. Purging. I have been purging. And it feels terrific. Yesterday I gave 2 large GLAD bags to a friend who quit smoking and has been gaining here and there ... who wants to buy new when you are praying that you don't stay there?

Today I took 2 more bags to a shelter that helps women get back on their feet after domestic violence. They got shoes galore ... most of them still had the tags on them - what was I thinking?

Another what was I thinking? ...

It has a matching purse. Did I ever wear it? NO! (mine was similar to this ... couldn't find an actual picture of it - not so shocking really!)

This morning, I showed it to a gal I know who is losing weight - but has quite a lot to lose before she hits my bigger sizes. She l.o.v.e.d. it. Said it would motivate her. Ok! I have given her all (most) of my old professional duds. It makes me happy to see her thrilled w/her new stuff.

So, what really got me to thinkin' about the old Binge and Purge - actually had little to do with food or my previous obsession of buying shit things I don't need (I am not getting into my stationary drawer file cabinet) ... and more to do about friendships.

Does it seem like sometimes you have more friends than you know what to do with ... and other times when you feel like you really need 'em - there just doesn't seem to be a friend any where - or at least not the appropriate friend for the occasion.

Some will say that you can never have too many friends ... I don't think I can take that view - I understand it but I don't believe it is so. If you have too many friends, it becomes difficult to cultivate a true, deep connection with anyone in particular. As women, I think we need that deep friendship - at least one person that we can say anything to, who will still love and respect us after we have uttered those foolish (incriminating) words.

I can't speak for men, but it seems that they don't require this type of interaction as much as women do ... men (all two of you) please correct me if I am wrong.

What is funny though, is that while in the shower this morning I found myself saying I am just not a very good blogger friend ... I feel like I am constantly getting behind in reading the blogs that I love - I have too many favorites to keep track - too many categories (funny, mommies, Christians, the cheaters, the cheated, celeb gossip, educational, world news - ok well the last one is a lie ... but I wish it were true) - I don't comment as often as I think I should - I am not as witty as the other comments, as insightful ...

I have been binging with my blogging buddies ... however, I am not prepared to purge. There aren't any that I want to give up ... I like them all - maybe not equally, because they all do something for me ... when I need them - during the appropriate occasion - I value them all.

What am I saying? Who the heck knows? Perhaps I want to say just cause I don't come around as often as I should -- it doesn't mean I don't care ... I do.

Frannie

ps - guess I am skipping Frannie's Friday Fourteen - maybe I'll have to go for Saturday Sixteen ...

Keep praying, but be thankful that God's answers are wiser than your prayers! -William Culbertson

He is the head of the body, the church; he is the beginning and the firstborn from among the dead, so that in everything he might have the supremacy. Colossians 1:18

In line at the DMV.

Because it is my favorite place in the world, I thought I would share my experience with YOU!
Feelin' lucky? Ya should.

I have a birthday comin' up in the next couple of months - no I won't say when because I am tryin' to leave out specific details so *people* who don't love me as much as y'all don't try to use it all against me some day ... paranoid much? Yea - whatever!

Ok, so the birthday .. which this year means I need to get a new drivers license ... I learned that I could have just done it on live if I had saved the stupid postcard that they sent to remind me that I am another year older ... but obviously they have never been to my home because if they had, they would know that there is no way I could keep track of a flimsy little postcard ... which apparently has some super secret never to be repeated numbers on it ...

Digressing again - its gonna happen tonight - just warnin' ya right now!

So, off I go - kids in tow ... to the funnest place on earth! YeeHaw! Since they are feelin' better my girlies are more that a little snarky this week. I knew that heading to the DMV would be a challenge, but I went in armed with coloring books, *homework* books (as LittleMiss likes to call anything that you actually write in), fruit snacks, fruit juice, lollipops (bribery - I am not above it!) and stickers (major bribery there!)

We arrive as early as we possibly can - not as early as they open - but as early as I am capable of getting there. Of course on the way there both LittleMiss and AngelBaby have decided to remove their socks and shoes and in my search I am only able to find on of AngelBaby's socks ... what gives with that? So I attempt to put her shoes on with out socks which results in a bevy of screams that I am certain will alert the CSP office across the street ... some swift thinking reminds me that I have a bag of give away shoes and sandals in the back of the big rig - AngelBaby is never one to pass up an opportunity to wear sandals ... so after digging through the giant glad bag, I locate a pare that I can squeeze her chubby little feet into ...

Whew ... off we go!

We enter and go to take our number ... you know those little pull out tabs that always tear. Yea, well we each have to have one - or else more screamin' is sure to ensue. We are numbers 89, 90, 91. The numbers at each of the 6 (S-I-X) stations - (on a Thursday morning thank.you.very.freakin.much!) 12 - 16 - 4 (wt?) 27 - 28 - 24. The odds of gettin' this all wrapped up by lunch = slim!

And my babies ... I just wanna tell you how sweet and polite they were. How obedient ... how much they listened when I spoke ... yea, I could tell you all that, but you would know that I was lying!

If I didn't know better, I would have sworn these they took a liberal dose of Ritalin before we left the house -- that makes you hyper, right? I haven't ever actually seen it ... but I think that is what I have heard ... and so, they were simply buzzin' --- this DMV is fairly new and is a decent size .. there is a lot of excess space at the back of the room (thank heavens!) and so they ran - back and forth, back and forth. For a good hour - and still we hadn't been called - in fact, the highest number on the board was 53 or something ...

All I can think at this point is that I really (really, really, really) wish that I had a laptop, so that I could blog about all of the weirdo's there ... these people are messed up! Are they lookin' at me thinkin' the same thing ... for letting my girls run semi-wild? hmmm.

An hour - that is all my girls can do. They simply can not stay semi-behaved for more than an hour in one spot. It just doesn't happen.

The breakdown begins and my face is crimson. Seriously. I am sitting there, thinking I am going to throw up from embarrassment - or maybe those fruit snacks ... blech. AngelBaby is runnin' from creepy person to creepy person sayin' "I four ... Hi I four". Which is one thing on its own - except she isn't four! Not even close. So I am sure that people think she is a little developmentally challenged ... but I do not want to talk to these people to defend my baby ... I just wanna go home.

I spend the next hour steering AngelBaby away from one pedophile looking guy, then she runs to a teen aged boy with piercings in every part of his body ... she giggles, he blushes -- thank God HeartBreaker wasn't there ... he could have certainly been her next potential boyfriend - if she was allowed to have one ...

She swoops away from me, to run directly in to an old lady who looks eerily like Mrs. Doubtfire, using a walker. A walker - I find myself praying that either she is just here for a new ID card - or - that I leave before she does ... then she speaks -- and she sounds just like Mrs. Doubtfire ... Ohhh, you better watch out lass, I almost ran ya over with my little buggy here ... you have to pay attention to your mother dear - you can get hurt in a place like this ... blah, blah, blah. I swear she was lecturing me. Right there in the DMV - maybe she was an older NANNY 911 - not that I could use Nanny 911's services, but I was pretty freaked by this time ... and exhausted and freakin' PO'd!

We scuttle to a corner and I bring out the lollipop ... praying that this bribery will work -- and shockingly it did. For the seven additional moments that we had to wait until #89 was called. We head up - the long walk of shame - to the window and just as I get there the lady is moving to #90 ... because we are freakin' slow ... duh, can't she see me headin' up there all breathless and such ...

Anywho, it doesn't matter, because we have #90 too! One small blessing at a time baby ...

The lady gives me the instructions in her best Rosie Perez voice - so, ju.jus.wanna.put.jur.head right.there.in.that.cup. Read the top line ... yada, yada, yada (yea, I can't write an accent - sue me.)

And then she says so, do.ju.wanna.change.da.weight? What, I say. The.weight, is.not.right. I am all set to be insulted ... the irony is that this happened to me last time I was there ... 4-5 years ago, something like that ... the gal said the same thing (with a Asian accent instead) ... all 96 pounds of her told me that it might appear that I did not weigh the 108 pounds listed on my drivers licence - the weight that I gave when I got my original learners permit ... the weight that I didn't weigh then and probably have never weighed -- well, perhaps in the 5th grade, but that is a stretch because I know I weighed 121 in the 6th grade and was mortified by that fact ...

Ok, so back to Rosie ... She says Honey, theweightitsnotright, jucantweighthat. I just stared and then had to grab AngelBaby as she was about to run into the line where they take your picture ... so I glare at Rosie, am about to say something snide - and she says baby, ju.have.lost.alotta.weight - be happy!

Well, of course now I just wanna take Rosie home and ... well with me everywhere so she can tell everyone that I look better now than I did the last time I got my drivers license. At the very least I want to give her a hug or some fruit snacks - well on second thought, the fruit snacks are still in the pit of my tummy ...

So, can you believe it ... after almost 3 hours - or was it 4? - I walked out of the DMV with a giant smile on my face -- I even took LittleMiss and AngelBaby to DQ for ice cream ... and no, I didn't eat any ...

My horoscope today said something about control, freedom and endurance... all in all, I think the fact that I made it through the day indicates that I don't have any control, freedom is how you define it and endurance... certainly it takes endurance to get through a day with my sweet babies ...

Frannie


Life is what we make it. Always has been, always will be. - Grandma Moses

A strong, positive self-image is the best possible preparation for success. -Dr. Joyce Brothers

Since the children have flesh and blood, he too shared in their humanity so that by his death he might destroy him who holds the power of death -- that is, the devil. Hebrews 2:14

Horoscopes ...

Here is mine, for the day;

Slow down Frannie. You are moving too quickly.
The stability you hunger for is right there, with in you, if only you would stop long enough to see it.

Now part of me thinks blah, blah, blah - duh, duh, duh ... It's all inside of me - we are always missing something that is right there if only we would stop and smell the roses. How many times have we heard that?

Of course it is easier to look back on something and realize that the right answer was right there in your grasp ... but isn't that how we become who we are? Take the challenges, turning the wrong way once in a while, occasionally saying out loud what we should have held inside?

Of course I should sit back and relax. Of course I should appreciate more what I have. It doesn't take a horoscope, a spouse, a Dr. or even a shrink to teach me that. My heart tells me that all the time ... its my mind that gets caught up in the chaos that is life.

Ok, enough said ... In the words of Scarlett I can't think about that right now. If I do, I'll go crazy. I'll think about that tomorrow. After all... tomorrow is another day. (to mess up! :O)


Frannie

4 And I saw that all labor and all achievement spring from man's envy of his neighbor. This too is meaningless, a chasing after the wind.

5 The fool folds his hands and ruins himself.

6 Better one handful with tranquillity than two handfuls with toil
and chasing after the wind.

Ecclesiastes 4

Frannie's Fixin's & Cookin' Tips

Fried foods ... who likes the smell? The mess ...
Here's what you do:

Put a small bowl of white household vinegar next to the stove to prevent that horrid *there some fat a burnin'* smell. Trust me .. really, this does the trick!

Here are some good eats ... with a twist ...

Spicy Chicken & Pistachio Enchiladas

Here's what ya need:

1 lb fresh tomatillos; (you can use canned tomatillos, fresh is better)
2 garlic cloves; peeled
2 jalapeno peppers; seeded
2 tb fresh cilantro leaves
2 tb chopped onion
1/3 cup sour cream
1/3 cup plain yogurt
1/4 ts salt
1/3 cup canned diced green chilies
6 corn tortillas
2 cup cooked shredded chicken
2 cup shredded pepper jack cheese
1 cup chopped pistachio’s

Here's what ya do:

If using fresh tomatillos, prepare by washing and removing husks.
Place in saucepan, cover with water and simmer until tender, about 5
to 7 minutes; drain.
If using canned tomatillos, drain and discard liquid.
For sauce, mince garlic, jalapenos, cilantro and onions in blender.
Add drained tomatillos, sour cream, yogurt, and salt; puree.
Mix in green chilies and set aside.
Soften tortillas either by frying on both sides in a small amount of
olive or corn oil. In the center of each tortilla, put aprox. 2 tbs each of chicken, sauce and cheese. Add about 2 tbs chopped pistachio.
Pour 1/4 of the sauce in the bottom of a greased 9x12-inch baking dish.
Place filled enchiladas in dish and pour remaining sauce over top.
Sprinkle with remaining cheese and then with pistachio’s.
Bake at 375 oven until heated through (cheese should bubble) maybe 20 minutes or so.


So you don't like Pistachio's ... add any other kind of nut -- or don't add any at ... its still good!

Monday, Monday ... so glad Monday is D.O.N.E!

Frannie


Prayer--secret, fervent, believing prayer--lies at the root of all personal godliness. -William Carey


Wisdom is the quality that keeps you from getting into situations where you need it. -Doug Larson

He [Jesus] is before all things, and in him all things hold together. Colossians 1:17

And here we go again.

It hit SweetiePie this morning. She isn't vomiting yet, but as I drove her to school she turned an odd shade of green ... I promptly turned the car around and sent her back to bed. She is still asleep.

I am feeling strangely green myself. But for the moment I am going to chalk it up to drinking a pot (yes, that is something like 8 cups) of cheap coffee - I ran out of the good stuff and picked this up when I got the Superman Popsicles at Walgreens. urgh ... I feel ill.

Ok, so in the spirit of happiness ... and because I haven't done it in over a month ... here is Frannie's Friday Fourteen ... 14 odd thoughts on my mind.

1) Is it wrong that I just put the same pie plate back in the dishwasher for the 6th or 7th time ... rather than washing it by hand?

2) I found myself sleeping face to face with AngelBaby (in the middle of the night somewhere), we were breathing in each others breath ... there is something I love about that. I used to (use to? no one answered that question) do that a lot when my babies were babies.

3) I just read this story about ANS's Native son. All I can say is - that is some weird sh*t. Girl is dead and still the stories get stranger and stranger ... she is livin' up to the Marilyn Monroe strangeness.

4) Mr. Farmer decided that stayin' at his bro's was probably not the best idea, and I didn't have to say a word.

5) I can't believe how sick to my stomach I feel. I was really hoping to fold some laundry with Mr. Farmer tonight ... not seeing that happening at the moment.

6) We watched Eloise (at the Plaza) four times yesterday and I realized where I get my habit of repeating (in writing and in speech) things three times (it's cold, cold, cold in here) -- it's from Nanny ... I am taking on the habits of a frumpy Julie Andrews. Yikes (yikes, yikes!)

7) Speaking of Eloise, did you know that they made the two movies (Eloise at the Plaza & Eloise at Christmastime) back to back so that the child actress (Sofia Vassilieva) would not age, because the author (Kay Thompson) feared that any additional spin-offs would be poor quality. And ... I was shocked to see that Sofia is now on the show Medium, since I don't have cable and I probably wouldn't watch that show if I did ... it was just a shock to see her so grown up!!

8) I can't seem to focus, I keep surfing blogs and such while I am trying to write ... but I am determined to finish this ... and read a book this weekend ... I don't know which one, as I have at least 20 sitting on my bedside table. How do you put one of those book-list-thingy's on your sidebar anyway?

9) I got an email yesterday from someone that I gave some of my BBQ sauce to (for Christmas) and he wants buy some. He thought I bought it - ummm and rebottled it with my name?? ... anywho, now comes the issue - I didn't have a recipe ... I just made it up, like I do everything. How can I possibly charge someone for something if I don't know what I am doing?

10) I have had over 3,800 visits since I started this blog. That really surprises me!!! And largest majority are from Illinois ... which surprises me even more -- thanks to all who stop by and put up with my nonsensical ramblings ..

11) AngelBaby is currently running around in a summer halter dress, her snow boots and a blanket as her cape. Too cute, I am tellin' ya! She keeps running up to me and kissing my arm .... I think she wants me to stop ... ummm too bad.

12) SweetiePie woke up and is now bored! Of course, now that it is too late to go to school - on a Friday none the less. Why can't I remember all of the tricks I used to (use to?) pull. Naive mommy ... very naive.

13) My kids love Life Cereal - they could finish off a box in a day if I let them ... recently I got some Vanilla Yogurt Crunch Life, thinking it might be a nice change (sometimes I get the Cinnamon, but ususally it is just the original stuff) - this stuff is just gross ... ick, ick, ick! None of them will even touch it, and I have to admit that I am not gonna either. blech!

14) 14 strange (or not) ways people get to Frannie's Blog:
* scrambled eggs by good cooks for 50 people ... good luck w/that!
* pregnant wife - give her eggs! The chocolate kind.
* can nine month old eat scrambled eggs - not a good idea.
* how long can you keep baked eggs - one to two days tops!
* fun thing you can do to eggs - I don't want to know.
* Like Water for Chocolate, sanity and insanity - Fabulous read!!!
* tara reid scrambled eggs - Tara Reid .. scrambled everything.
* U N S C R A M B L E . b l o g s p o t . c o m - not found, bet you knew that already.
* stephanie klein - Greek Tragedy.
* ben Affleck - meh.
* mark ruffalo - grrrr tiger ...
* Ina Garten, nude - Barefoot Contessa, not nude but pretty cool anyway.
* Eggs with out milk - you don't have to use milk, you can add a little water, olive oil, butter, sour cream or even Crème Fraîche.
* what to do with anxiety attacks, can't breathe - go to www.anxieties.com.

~ Happy Friday!
Frannie


Let everyone understand that the real love of God does not consist in tear-shedding...but in serving God by serving those around us, in justice, fortitude of soul, and humility. -St. Teresa of Avila

Someone's sitting in the shade today because someone planted a tree a long time ago. -Warren Buffet

But in your hearts set apart Christ as Lord. Always be prepared to give an answer to everyone who asks you to give the reason for the hope that you have. But do this with gentleness and respect... 1 Peter 3:15

Out with the old ... in with the ...

Hmmm.

In with the slightly used, yet not abused, but new to me!

Ok, so today I gave away the last of my Big Girl clothes. It was hard to do. You know, sort of like a security blanket. Or like, maybe if I give them away, I will curse my weight loss and end up needing them again - it isn't like I haven't done that a time - or ten - before.

Last week I (BSTO - before sickness took over) I went to a few thrift stores and got some jeans that actually fit. I have been mostly wearing my big girl clothes even though they were pretty much falling off.

Backing up a bit ... when I started my life changing eating habits a year ago I weighed in at well over 230. I probably wore about a size 22 (I say probably because you know I wasn't actually going to go in a pick up a size 22 ... so I sort wore large clothes that could stretch or squeezed myself into my 18-20's ...) ... well, I still had some 18's in my closet - you know the motivating clothes .. but nothing really smaller than that because I think I got rid of all the rest after I had one of those babies ... anywho, I digress.

Ok, so in the last few months, I have gotten some of those cute Old Navy Gaucho pants ... and since I was used to (now please tell me is it used to or use to? I get so confused!) buying bigger sizes I just picked up the XXL and went with them ... along with some of the smaller sized sweat/yoga pants I have made it work ... until last week (BSTO) when AngelBaby decided to pants me in front of everyone at church .. thank.you.very.freakin.much!

I have a point, I swear!

Of course, I decided that I should probably get some pants that fit! Ok, back to the thrift-ish stores ... I went on a hunt ... thinking that I need some 16's since the 18's were a little too big.
I went to 3 stores that didn't have any 16's at all ... so I ventured into a dreaded, well known, thrift store. At this point, I just decided to grab a handful of maybes and just try stuff on ...

Well, I won't keep you in suspense any longer ... I was shocked, seriously shocked to find that I could comfortably wear a 14 and snuggly fit into a 12! A 12! Oh my stars ... I haven't worn a 12 since I married Mr. Farmer ... wow! A good day for Frannie.

So, there you go ... long story, far too long ... I got rid of the big girl clothes and I got me some new duds ...

OK ... now some randomness ...

- Why is my dishwasher making a squeaking noise that sounds like a small dog whining?

- How do you lose a dustpan? I can not find mine anywhere ... I am guessing that someone threw it away and just won't fess up.

- LittleMiss seems much harder hit than AngelBaby did ... she is still quite listless, her fever is still high - but she isn't vomiting anymore. And AngelBaby, being AngelBaby, has made it her mission to keep her big sister awake ... so I am constantly shooing her away from LittleMiss ...

- One of our neighbors came over and gave us some deer sausage and deer steaks ... um, yea, nothin' heals the pukes and sh*ts (thanks Slackermommy) better than deer meat.

- It is really hard to type while eating a Popsicle! You can't set them down - messy. I can't type one handed very well - messy. And you can't keep them in your mouth - cold!

- I am eating a Popsicle because it is the only thing LittleMiss has kept down in days and when I gave her one, it sounded really good - so I had one. And now I have brain freeze.

- So, I got Superman Popsicles because they has some (very little) real fruit juice in them ... and because ... well, that's really all they had at Walgreen's besides those Push-Up thingys that are just too messy for me ... anywho, so I got the Superman Popsicles and now whenever AngelBaby wants one she sings I'm no Superman ... because since we don't actually have cable TV, we only have one station that comes in and it seems that they are constantly airing Scrubs and apparently my girls love the theme song ... but only know those 3 words! Well, come to think of it, they are the only words I know ....


- Mr. Farmer has a big work thing next week and is seriously considering staying at his bro's house for a few days so he doesn't get sick ... come on, should I really let him out of all the fun? Is it selfish of me to want him to share in my misery? Is it selfish of me to want him to go somewhere else so I can just handle it my way? You know, like it's ok if we want to eat mashed potatoes or mac & cheese or ramen noodles for every meal - we (ok, the rest of we) don't feel good ... who really needs meat and potatoes and bread and salad and blah, blah, blah every night?

- I can't stop thinking about how cute (dare I say Hot?) Zach Braff, now that I mentioned Scrubs. And what about Mark Ruffalo? Love him too, and his cute pregnant wife named Sunrise - cute, cute, cute. (Random, random, random!)

- Is it just me, or does Ben Affleck look not so cute (hot) these days ... I love that he loves his
wife and daughter so much - I just think he is losing his hotness. Just sayin'.

- Long winded enough for y'all?? I am beat! Please, oh please let my babies sleep tonight - and NOT Barf!!!

~ Frannie


I've read the last page of the Bible. It's all going to turn out all right. - Billy Graham

If you make it plain you like people, it's hard for them to resist liking you back. - Lois McMaster Bujold

The LORD will keep you from all harm - he will watch over your life; the LORD will watch over your coming and going both now and forevermore. Psalm 121:7-8

I want this!

2 down 4 to go.

Depends on how you look at it ... if Mr. Farmer and I will get it too, if it recycles itself (very likely in our house) ...

LittleMiss got it last night and has been vomiting every 30-40 minutes all night. Poor baby.

SweetiePie is sooo afraid she is gonna get it and miss a slumber party this weekend.

HeartBreaker is invincible, so of course she ain't gettin' it.

Me, meh ... hard to say ... seems like a decent weight loss plan!

Frannie out ...


It is never too late to become what you might have been. -George Eliot

For by him [Jesus] all things were created: things in heaven and on earth, visible and invisible, whether thrones or powers or rulers or authorities; all things were created by him and for him.
Colossians 1:16

s.i.c.k. has replaced s.n.o.w.

as the new 4 letter word in our house.

I know it's normal for illness to constantly reside in a house that is inhabited by toddlers, animals and the random germ or two ... but come on ... I am over s.i.c.k. just like I am over s.n.o.w!

AngelBaby spent the entire weekend sick, sick, sick. The vomiting started on Friday night (midnight, don't you just know it?) and continued (every 20-30 minutes thank.you.very.freakin.much) until Sunday. Her fever ran anywhere from 102* - 104* ... she was listless and only wanted to be held ... by mommy of course, no one else would do! She couldn't/wouldn't eat or drink and she is completely dehydrated.

She is ok now, but this is the 2nd time this has happened in the past month. And it is freaking me out. And why does it always happen on a Friday night, cause you know I don't want to venture on in to the city ER ... scary place on a Friday night!!

So, of course, I called the Doctor this morning ... could only talk to a nurse who said 'uh-huh, so she is feeling better today, right ... and you're worried beccaauuuuusse?' Because I am effing stupid thank.you.very.effing.much. I only have 4 children and you? Oh, you're single, gotcha! You obviously know more about these things than I .... get me the Doctor please!


Of course I have been assured - over and over - that there is a strong virus going around and if she isn't completely better by tomorrow, they would be glad to see her. thank.you.very.effing.much.)

Perhaps that (thank.you.very.effing.much.) should have been the title of this post.

Anywho ... I had a few random moments to lurk around your blogs, but didn't get to comment much and doubt I will in the next couple of days .... and it scares me how much I miss it ...

Frannie



Who in the rainbow can draw the line where the violet tint ends and the orange tint begins? Distinctly we see the difference of the colors, but where exactly does the one first blendingly enter into the other? So with sanity and insanity. Herman Melville


We know also that the Son of God has come and has given us understanding, so that we may know him who is true. And we are in him who is true -- even in his Son Jesus Christ. He is the true God and eternal life. 1 John 5:20

If you could see what I see.

If you could feel what I feel.
If you could hold what I hold.
If you could Hug what I Hug.
If you could smooch what I smooch.
If you could love what I love ...

You would surely know how blessed I am.

Diary Posts

February 28, 2005

Dear Diary,

I lost it - one year ago today; can you believe it? One entire year – 365 days … it wasn’t a leap year was it? … How life changed on that day. The loss of something so precious. I never imagined how profoundly one event could change my life … well, the lives of so many really. I didn’t plan for it, I couldn’t have imagined it, and I certainly didn't manage it.

But of course, I never imagined that I would have such a gift in my life to being with. Me, an average sort of gal … really what would I do with something so magnificent? Clearly I was not worthy to begin with. No wonder, it was so easily lost …

I have had plenty of losses in my life. Some through my utter foolishness, gambled away as easily as fifty in Vegas. Others simply stolen away, vanishing before I had a chance to hold more tightly. Still others were merely given up – more or less willingly…a slight hesitation, but in the end you just let go … because it is right or easier or just too darned exhausting to hold on.

I tend not to dwell too hard on the things that I have lost, the people that have drifted in and out of my life … friendships, love, relatives, employers … all these things happen for a reason. Life is one big lesson and I am here to learn it.

This loss, however, I dwell. I will dwell and mourn and contemplate this loss every day for the rest of my life. No day shall pass when I don’t wonder what I could have done differently. What I could have said to change the outcome? What card could I have played?

But I can’t go back, can I? I can not change the things that have been said, the perceptions, the choices. I can not erase the pain. Oh how I wish I could … I would give anything to redo it.

But first I would have to understand it … and I don’t. I can’t.

And I am just not sure I want to … yet. I am no sure I can take it.

Maybe another year … maybe I will be in a better place next year. Maybe, maybe, maybe. God willing, maybe!


........................................................................................
February 28, 2007

Dear Diary,

More than a year. It absolutely took more than a year – I am recovering … I still dwell. That hasn’t changed, it won’t. But I am better. I am doing better, every day.

Don’t get me wrong – I still miss the gift. The precious gift. That doesn’t, won’t, can’t change … but my ability to deal with the loss … yea, I am more capable.

And I am finding that I am more worthy. Worthy of valuable gifts, fragile gifts, precious gifts. I am so much more worthy than I thought.

I still don’t fully understand it. And I still don’t know if I want to.

… there is more that I need to write here – dear diary … but the biggest change since that entry is that I don’t have as much time to write those lengthy accounts of my life, but let me tell you – that is ok with me – you see, it is because of the gifts I have been given that I am not afforded the time to languish over the things that I can not change.
......................................................................................................

Happy March!

xoxoxo

Frannie

Bad things do happen; how I respond to them defines my character and the quality of my life. I can choose to sit in perpetual sadness, immobilized by the gravity of my loss, or I can choose to rise from the pain and treasure the most precious gift I have - life itself. Walter Anderson

But these two things will come on you suddenly in one day: Loss of children and widowhood. They will come on you in full measure In spite of your many sorceries, In spite of the great power of your spells. Isaiah 47:9