Sunday, November 05, 2006

It was great fun!

Really, truly great fun.

However, I am so exhausted today ... physically and emotionally ... that I can hardly keep my eyes open - or my body movin' for that matter.

I am exhausted from lack of sleep, walking many miles to get to and fro, climbing stairs that seems to go on forever, and sleeping on a bed that absolutely MUST have had rocks in it! Certainly, I am exhausted from all of that.

But it is the other exhaustion that is weighing me down today.

The exhaustion of having laughed too much, cried too much, pondered my life too much, bonding more than I thought I could - more than maybe I was ready for.

Now I know that those are good reasons to be exhausted, I do ... but they are also making me a little melancholy today.

Maybe it is because I revealed more about myself, to people that I know but don't (didn't) know, than I had intended - EVER.

Maybe it is because I listened, really listened, to the speakers and took to heart their words - God's words - and the implications of the words on my life.

Maybe it is because it isn't often that I feel accepted, truly accepted, for who I am at this very moment.

Maybe it is because, as I looked around the giant room, at thousands of women – each of us different and unique and yet each of us with something in common … I digress … as I looked around that room I knew that I needed to do something … something different, bigger, better – something on purpose.

Maybe it is because, when I looked around the room, when I heard these women speaking, when I paid attention to the issues of others, I realized (of course) that my problems are just not as big as the seem … that is kind of a let down, in a strange mind altering way.

Or maybe it is because it is all just a little too anticlimactic. Like Thanksgiving. You plan and arrange and tweak and plan some more. You spend hours on the minutest details, revel in days of anticipation and then it is all over … done … finished, and you are forced to wait an entire year to repeat it all.

But really, could you handle it more than once a year. Probably not, but it sounds nice, doesn’t it?

5 comments:

prunella jones said...

Hi there. I just wandered over from T-Girl's blog to check you out. Nice to meet you ;)

Frannie Farmer said...

Thanks for stoppin' by Prunella ... Glad to see you!

T-girl said...

Sigh... I always feel more exausted from emotional bonding then a week at the gym. LOL And unlike the gym it takes me weeks to get back on track, it is like I have to mull over and compress all that info to put it in it's proper place in my brain. When i am done though I always feel so good!!!!

Swishy said...

I know just what you mean ... I always say too much!!

Frannie Farmer said...

T .. I think it might be because we become so much more exposed when we are bonding. and then we have to think about all of that ... and wonder what the other people really think and who they might tell :) well if the bonding is any good lol ...
Swishy. Yep that's me .. keeping foot directly in mouth!