Monday, January 22, 2007

What do you wanna be when you grow up?

A while back I mentioned that I had been doing some soul searching - using this book, and this book and website. My desire was to identify my purpose ... my calling. Which is, basically, the intention of these two books.

You may recall that I said I felt drawn to single mothers, but not really knowing what that meant or what I should do about it.

Just a little background...

Anywho. So, the author of the second book asked a number of church goers the following question:

If money were no object, what would you do for the rest of your life?

Heavy duty question, huh? He was, of course, expecting answers like;
  • I'd volunteer at the Crisis Pregnancy Center.
  • I'd mentor inner city kids.
  • I'd build an orphanage in a Third World country.
Sadly, the answers he received were generally more self-centered;

  • I'd quit working, buy a nice car, a new house, a boat.
  • I'd travel.
  • I'd hire people to help around the house.
While quite a few said, I have no idea.

Does this make you sad? It does me. When I really think about it ... you know the whole God sent us His only Son, to forgive us for our sins and if we could do anything with our life we would choose ... a vacation?

The second question he raised was:

Do you think He put us on this earth just so we wouldn't have to work another day in our lives?
Or even worse, just so we'd stumble around for years without any clue as to why we were here?

I don't know about you ... but this makes me think. And how.
Now y'all know that I am a Christian, I make no secret about the fact that I am a follower of Christ ... however, I'm not lookin' to convert y'all, but my faith is part of me. It is something that I need to make it through each day - in fact, it is the only reason I have made it this far ...

I digress, as usual.

These questions have really made me think abut where I've been, what I have done and what I want to do with the rest of my life ... like when I grow up you know ... How I can give God the glory that He deserves? What are His intentions for my life, rather than my own thoughts and presumptions?

I have had many jobs, more than a few professions, and yet I have catered to very few of my passions. I have always done what was expected of me in a job ... even when I have wanted to take a more laid back, less managerial job ... but I have always gotten sucked right into a role, that likely, comes naturally to me - The Boss.

Now that I am a SAHM (though I often refer to myself as a Sham ... because that is how I feel most of the time) I am starting to lose a little of my bossness - although, certainly, none of my bossiness ... and I guess with that loss of bossness, I am also losing the desire to be a manager, boss or otherwise in charge of multiple people (children not withstanding of course).

I hear ya ... I hear ya .. Where are you going Frannie, get to the point girl!

Well, I am not sure there is one ... a point that is ... not for sure anyway.

I have been talking to a few people who have some plausible ideas about what I could do with my own experiences and my passions ... babies, kids, single mothers, cooking, nurturing.

I have been praying; asking God to reveal His will to me, to allow me to overcome my own will (so not good at that) and release my desire to control the situation ... now I know that when I let Him control the situation, things work out so much better ... however, generally I say something like 'Lord, please show me the way you want me to go with this ... allow me to clearly see what it is You desire of me ..." and then I immediately go into 'Plan Mode', trying to figure it all out for myself, by myself ...

So it's a courtesy prayer, right? Hey God .. just checkin' in with ya ... lettin' ya know that I am open to Your will, but ya know, if You want to ... well You could just go with my Plan ... ummm right! Pretty sure He's up there sayin' 'there goes that Frannie again, thinking she can take care of it on her own ... well, let's just shoot that idea down.

Well, not this time. I am asking the question, sittin' back and just waiting for His unmistakable answer. Gonna be tough. But I am certain, that I am on the right track this time.

Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you. For everyone who asks receives; he who seeks finds; and to him who knocks, the door will be opened. Matthew 7:7-8

As always, I will keep y'all up to date ....



Let your love be stronger than your hate or anger. -H.G. Wells

If you believe what you like in the gospel, and reject what you don’t like, it’s not the gospel you believe, but yourself. - Augustine of Hippo

When you are brought before synagogues, rulers and authorities, do not worry about how you will defend yourselves or what you will say, for the Holy Spirit will teach you at that time what you should say. Luke 12:11-12


Anonymous said...

You are so funny! When he tells you what you want to do can you ask him what I want to do? LOL

Anonymous said...

Good for you! I've got to believe that most people would get tired of vacations and want to do some good in the world. If they don't want to get their hands dirty they can give money if they have it. Naive, I know.

I asked that same question a few years ago... I like working for myself although I must say it's definitely harder (in some ways) than working for someone else. If you screw up you can't blame the boss. Well, you can- but it would be you. But, if it suits you, there's nothing better.
I hope He gives you a clear answer. Good Luck :)

Jenster said...

I keep hoping God will send me a memo and let me know what His purpose for me is. Sadly, I still haven't received it. Not in writing, anyway.

So I keep plugging along, doing what I'm doing and keep praying for that direction.

Great post today!

kim said...

I think a lot of us are looking for that burning bush. I'm trying to just look for purpose every day and not worry so much about a big giant purpose. I've found that the harder I search , the further from my purpose I get. "Be still and know that I am God"----This is what I'm striving for.

Frannie Farmer said...

T - I'll be sure to ask Him what your plan is ...
PC - It is becoming clearer .. the hardest part is saying what I really think out loud (or in writing, as the case may be) because then there are not take backs ...
Jen - Welcome! I can just say that reading those two books has helped a lot, but also changing the questions I am asking myself ... well that and actually being truthful with myself!
Kim - I get ya .. that is why I am trying to listen for the quite voice rather than the loud brash Frannie voice, that tends to be w.r.o.n.g! :O)

queenb2u said...

Frannie, I think we all are asking the same questions. I just read great book on the subject- Mother Teresa's Prescription by Paul A. Wright, M.D. It's a little book, but packed with good advice from a saint who practiced what she preached. It has given me much to think about. LOL