Friday, October 20, 2006

Day 13

Yep, that's how many days I have had this darned migraine.

There are times when I think I will lose my mind. Not that there is much of one left to lose ... but still.

I have tried it all in the past - Imitrex, Topomax, Maxalt, everything OTC, massage, Holistic Healing, Herbal Medications, Acupuncture ... I have heard that Botox® helps but I am just not ready to go there yet ... call me crazy but I'll keep my laugh/frown lines for a while longer.

But on days like today, I think I would try almost anything if it came my way – ‘cause the Lord knows I am not leavin' the farm to get it.

I say that, but of course I do leave the farm. I just can't stop livin' life because of these painful episodes. Don’t get me wrong, I would love nothin’ more than a ‘shut-in’ right now. A quiet one … but it just isn’t gonna happen so I move on and live with it.

On the cute side – or not – of Friday … is AngelBaby’s new song, it goes somethin’ like this:
Inaminute, inaminute, inaminute TOOODAAYYY.’
Repeated over and over until an older sibling screams for her to S-T-O-P!

Hmmm, I wonder what message my little Angel is getting. Everything we do is In-A-Minute. MaaMaa is gonna have to work on that one.

I wish you could see my AngelBaby right now. She is buck naked (her favorite stance) runnin’ around with 2 pig tails in her barely there fluffy baby hair … her chubby cheeks covered in peanut butter …her giant blue eyes lookin’ up at me with sweetness and love. Oh how she makes my heart melt.

Little Miss is busy colorin’ her sixth or seventh masterpiece of the day. She is still in the scribbling stage, but we must post each and every one of her drawings for Mr. Farmer to see when he returns from the fields.

Today I am amazed and it awe of how quickly my children are growing up. I wish I could make time stand still – just for a few days. I want back some of those moments that I took for granted.

When I thought Heartbreaker would always love me, appreciate me ... before she knew that I didn't have all the answers. When Heartbreakers heart hadn’t been broken … when she didn’t know what betrayal was.

When Sweetie Pie wasn’t so flustered with the life around her. When she didn’t instinctively doubt herself. When she didn’t take it all so personally. When she was still small enough to sit on my lap – ok, well I still let her but my legs go numb!

When Little Miss took her first step, said her first word, laughed her first laugh. I would write in the baby book more, hold her a little longer, not worry so much about the laundry/dishes/paperwork/dinner …

When AngelBaby was nursing. I would breath a little deeper, hold her a little closer … knowing that she was the last one. When I should have napped with her instead of doing more laundry … I would breath in that sweet smell of baby breath just a little more.

Today I am amazed. My babies aren’t babies anymore … well not so much. They all still need me, in their own ways, but they also need me to leave them alone … that is the part that has got a hold of my heart today. They all need me to let go … a little at a time.

Love your babies today. Hold them close. Don’t wait a minute. Everything else can wait, but they can’t … because pretty soon, they won’t ask.

Sending blessings your way!
~ Frannie

Wisdom has two parts:
1)-Having a lot to say.
2)-Not saying it.
- Church billboard in Vermont

All these blessings will come upon you and accompany you if you obey the LORD your God:
You will be blessed in the city and blessed in the country.
The fruit of your womb will be blessed, and the crops of your land and the young of your livestock—the calves of your herds and the lambs of your flocks.
Deuteronomy 28:2-4


Jeana said...

Frannie, have you tried Zomig? The nasal spray works quickly and is very effective, but 5 minutes later it goes down your throat and it tastes like liquid concentrated evil, so next time I'll get the tablets. Still, after 13 days I would try anything I think!

Frannie Farmer said...

Jeana .. yep. I have tried it. In both forms. It worked the 1st time and then not at all.
You are right - right now I am willing to try anything - if only *anythin* didn't cost a fortune!